What kind of a week was it?
It wasn’t the biggest thing that happened this week, but I think it was the most ironic. Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig and Players’ Union chief Don Fehr testified before a Senate panel about baseball’s drug-testing policies after allegations of steroid use.
Senator Biden dramatically railed that the issue isn’t “about values,” it’s about our culture. And I couldn’t agree more. At this moment in time, baseball could not be more of a barometer of how fucked up our country is. We are a nation that is constantly jonesing for the newest performance enhancing drug; ideally non-detectable by the rest of the world.
And what the fuck illusion are you suffering under, Senator Biden? That we, as a country, are still the agrarian America at the turn of the last century, with milk-fed farm kids tossing baseballs into apple baskets in the hopes of making it to the big leagues?
Here’s what happened to that farm kid. He was molested by a priest, just before they foreclosed on his parents’ farm, so he went to work briefly in a factory, until he joined the army and fought in World War II in the South Pacific, where he learned to rape and pillage without guilt, a skill he put to use as a developer craving up the San Fernando Valley in the late 50’s. Then first marriage, kids, booze, first divorce, more booze, pills, first heart attack, no booze, second marriage, booze, second heart attack, first bankruptcy, no booze, more pills, second divorce, third heart attack, second bankruptcy and after a protracted illness in the late eighties he dies with his last words whispered into his third wife’s ear, “Don’t sell the house to Mexicans.”