Weekly Movie Round-Up 7-20-06

by Andy Nordvall

You, Me and Dupree Owen Wilson plays Dupree, one of those unemployable man-childs who appear charming in movies despite the fact that no one would want to spend five minutes with the guy in real life.  Matt Dillion plays an uptight yuppie who would probably despise anyone like Dupree, but once again, it’s a movie, so they’re best friends for life.  Nevertheless, it is the funniest movie by a Wilson brother in theaters at the moment.

Lady in the Water Take away the twist ending from an M. Night Shamalamalamalayan and what do you have?  Correct answers are either A) a meandering mood piece heavy on symbolism and light on characters and coherent plot or B) this movie.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend This is not so much a movie as a studio development meeting that got out of hand.  I can almost see the fresh-faced USC grad pitching the bit where Uma gets pissed and – get this! – throws a shark at Luke Wilson.  Plus, the crazy ex-friend angle makes the movie relatable.  I just hope test audiences think the leads are sympathetic.

Monster House Why do the adults never believe kids when they discover a supernatural threat to the neighborhood?  Did Gremlins teach us nothing!?

Clerks II Sure, it’s a bunch of dick and fart jokes, but they’re dick and fart jokes with a gooey, sentimental heart.  And that makes all the difference, my friend.

Weekly Movie Round-Up 7/13/06

by Andy Nordvall

Weekly Movie Round-Up 7/13/06

PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST The guys making this film know that the movie ALREADY has its theme park ride, don’t they?  Still, I get the impression the producers won’t be happy until an entire section of Disneyland is filled with crowd pleasers like “Jack Sparrow’s Sword Fight in a Big Gerbil Ball Thingy,”  “Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley’s Tunnel of Smoldering Looks” and “Captain Davy Jones’s All-You-Can-Eat Cursed Seafood Buffet.”

LITTLE MAN Say what you will about the Wayans Brothers, but when one of them surgically alters his height to play a role, that’s acting.  Still, even with the alteration, I can’t tell those darn brothers apart.  I think Keenan’s the old one; Damon’s the briefly successful one; and Marlon and Shawn are the painfully unfunny ones.

7/6/06 Weekly Movie Roundup

by Andy Nordvall

SUPERMAN RETURNS  Why bother with this re-release of the 1978 Richard Donner flick?  Well, in addition to indulging one’s childhood nostalgia (Man, was Christopher Reeve ever that young?) this re-release boasts some snazzy new special effects, and Luthor’s been digitally altered so he finally looks bald.  All in all, it’s like a completely new movie.  Still, I don’t remember the ending being so lame.  I guess when you’re a kid, you’re easier to please.

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA Meryl Streep channels Roseanne Barr in this unofficial sequel to Streep’s 1989 “comedy” SHE-DEVIL.  Anne Hathaway also stars, but breaks with her current film work by not taking off her shirt.  Why, Anne, why?

STRANGERS WITH CANDY  The protagonist spends to movie trying to wake Dan Hedaya from a coma.  Which is stupid, since watching Dan Hedaya fake a coma is pretty much guaranteed to be hilarious.  I guess some people just can’t resist messing with Comedy Gold.

WORDPLAY Bill Clinton, Jon Stewart, NPR’s Neal Conan, and yet the Conservatives seem suspicious absent from the ranks of crossword puzzle fans.  Maybe all the right-wingers are more sudoku kind of guys.  Or maybe they’re just too busy crippling the nation’s economy.  Oh, snap!

WASSUP ROCKERS  For those of you who think staring blankly into space constitutes profound acting, this is your movie.  Oh, and it’s by Larry Clark, so all you fans of lovingly shot underage male flesh are covered too.

WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR?  A young, socially inept boy finds an abandoned electric car hiding in his backyard.  The two go on a touching journey of friendship and self-discovery, then have to run when evil government agents want to capture to car before it can return to its home planet.