Posted by masterofhumility on December 14th, 2006
by Andy Nordvall
THE HOLIDAY – Sure, honey, I’d love to see a movie with you. Wait, you want to see what?
BLOOD DIAMOND – Ever feel guilty about enjoying mindless movie violence? This film should stave off any feelings of liberal guilt, but with plenty of explosions.
THE QUEEN – I know I said I’d watch Helen Mirren in anything, but come on, people!
VOLVER – Joking aside, any film by Almodovar is a gift to the universe. Having Penelope Cruz doesn’t hurt, either.
10 ITEMS OR LESS – Morgan Freeman mingles with us common folk.
THE HISTORY BOYS – An eccentric boarding school teacher opens boys’ minds while cupping their genitals.
UNACCOMPANIED MINORS – Given the lack of anything that would interest a viewer over the age of nine, the title should be an accurate description of this film’s audience.
FUR – Not so much a film as a bad reaction to mixing prescription medications with malt liquor.
DECK THE HALLS – Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick fight over tacky Christmas decorations. I think the winner gets the last Turbo Man doll.
APOCALYPTO – Aw heck, just insert your own anti-Semitic joke here.