The Time Has Finally Come

fire_hollywood.jpg
This is what I saw when I stepped outside to go jogging today. So not only did I burn some calories, I also injested the burning fumes of Tinseltown. Apparently, The Day of the Locust is upon us. Nat West, Chuck D, Eric Idle and the ghost of Joe Eszterhaus rejoice.

Iran got lucky

I was reading the news the other day, like I have been known to do occasionally, when I came across an interesting tale of woe.

15 British Marines and Navy folk,

Hold on a sec. What do you call people in the Navy anyways? I know if you are a Marine, then you are known as a whole as ‘Marines’. What do you call a group of Navy personnel? Navals? Boaties? Water Soldiers? Navy Officers? Well, they can’t all be officers, I mean, who swabs the decks? Hmm, I guess I’ll have to settle with Navy Folk until I come up with something better.
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Tony Blair Urges Release of British Seamen

Tony Blair
What does it mean to be a British seaman? British seamen are loyal. Determined. Hard working. A British seaman never tires and always gets his mark.When a fleet of British seamen is headed toward you, you know their purpose is steadfast and noble. Last week, some of Britain’s finest seamen were taken hostage, accused of illegally penetrating Iranian waters. As commander in chief of Britain’s naval forces, I can assure you: a British seaman never penetrates anything that wasn’t asking for it.
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Dope, Guns and Lying in the Senate

Anna Nichole Smith’s official autopsy revealed the presence of 9 different prescription drugs in her system which contributed to her cause of death. 9 is a lot. But it’s not 12. Elvis Presely had 12 scripts running through his vains and so he is still officially The King. San Francisco is talking about banning plastic bags city wide. No word on whether local weed dealers will adhere to regulations. Australian Muslim held at Gitmo and former kangaroo skinner David Hicks, pleads guilty to supporting terrorists, although he claims he just gave them some advice when they were feeling down. Sen. Jim Webb calls gun incident inadvertant. Adds, “no faces were shot at.” Alberto Gonzalez, caught in lies as to his involvement in the U.S. attorney firing scandal, runs out of news conference. Monica Gooding, aide to Gonzalez, takes the Fifth because Congressional committee might be mean to her

Medley Recap 3.25.07

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6eWkoKgJMI]

Big News Report Highlights for March 25, 2007

  • President Bush dismissed an Iraq war spending bill passed by the House as, quote, “political theater.” He added that he hates political theater, except for the time he and Laura saw Tony Danza in “The Producers.”
  • An off-duty Chicago police officer was caught by a bar surveillance camera beating up a female bartender half his size. The officer claims he was just making an audition tape for the LAPD.
  • Supermodel Naomi Campbell began fulfilling her community service obligation on Monday by mopping floors at a sanitation garage in Manhattan. Campbell became confused by her new role as a cleaning lady and threw her cell phone at herself.
  • Hilary Duff has admitted that after reading negative press reports about her appearance, she felt pressure to lose weight. Unfortunately for moviegoers, after reading other negative press reports, Duff did not feel pressure to take acting classes.
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Dear Russian Friends

I have a question for all my Russian friends out there:

Do you have many options in your nightclub entertainment?

  • Some witnesses said the fire broke out about 3 a.m. during a “fire show” that was part of the 911 club’s nightly entertainment, said Yevgeny Bobylev, a spokesman for the Moscow division of the Emergency Service Ministry.

Now, I have a few questions involving this incident:

The first thing that sticks out in my mind is the name of the club.
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Happy Slursday Headlines

pre-bangs Mike Hughes with Calvin DeForest
(Big News’ Mike Hughes (pre-Mod) with “Bud” and authentic “Toast-on-a-stick”)
Calvert DeForest a/k/a Larry “Bud” Melman dies. (AP/Yahoo) - he was 60 when Letterman premiered. The Senate has agreed to issue subpoenas to Karl Rove. (Daily Kos) - Easter comes early this year. Edwards will continue presidential run (AP/Yahoo) - fake headline “Ann Coulter thinks it’s ‘grreat’ that Mrs. Edwards has cancer” Bush Targets Pullout Measure in War Bill (NY Times) - someting about the sancitity of sperm Viacom sued over YouTube parody removal - can’t find the video in question, sorry

Today’s Hump Day Headlines

Jim Cramer
Jim Cramer admits to stock manipulations on his webcast. (NY Post) Schwarzenegger says Rush Limbaugh’s “irrelevant” (LA Times) - and flabby Al Gore returns to Congress Wednesday to testify on global warming (actual Bob Shrum quote: Gore “has become a very large global figure”). (NY Times) K-Fed launches his own search engine (LA Times) Goodbye Alberto Alberto Goodbye NASA scientist accuses Bush administation of using “Nazi” tactics (LA Times) Dancing’ judge on Mills: ‘More guts than Rambo’ (CNN) - “send her to Iraq.” ‘Hillary 1984′ - Hillary mocked in unauthorized pro-Obama web video. First steps on skywalk over Grand Canyon - “looks great … let’s go Honey.”

Today’s Hump Day Headlines

Jim Cramer
Jim Cramer admits to stock manipulations on his webcast. (NY Post) Schwarzenegger says Rush Limbaugh’s “irrelevant” (LA Times) - and flabby Al Gore returns to Congress Wednesday to testify on global warming (actual Bob Shrum quote: Gore “has become a very large global figure”). (NY Times) K-Fed launches his own search engine (LA Times) Goodbye Alberto Alberto Goodbye NASA scientist accuses Bush administation of using “Nazi” tactics (LA Times) Dancing’ judge on Mills: ‘More guts than Rambo’ (CNN) - “send her to Iraq.” ‘Hillary 1984′ - Hillary mocked in unauthorized pro-Obama web video. First steps on skywalk over Grand Canyon - “looks great … let’s go Honey.”