Bob Barker’s Retirement Plan

Dot Comedy gets the exclusive on Bob Barker’s plans.
Big News own Phillip Wilburn exposes the video Bob wants everyone to see.

Bob Barker’s Retirement Plan

Dot Comedy gets the exclusive on Bob Barker’s plans.
Big News own Phillip Wilburn exposes the video Bob wants everyone to see.

Big News Report May 27, 2007

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmwSTj65qtI]

Big News Report (Blue Collar ed.) 052707

Big News Report (Blue Collar ed.) 052707

Big News Funny or Die

George Bush - Unacceptable

George W. Bush sings his way to the top of the Funny or Die website.   This video written by writer and director Jim Harmon, and starring co-director Phillip Wilburn, will be seen at the IO West so watch it on line and then see it with a laugh track live.

Big News Report May 20, 2007

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5gG9cWkK5k]

Big News Report (Blue Collar ed.) 052007

Big News Report (Blue Collar ed.) 052007

Big Summer Movie Review!!!

Do you like action?  Do you like suspense?  Do you like romance?  Do you like the music of Lawrence Welk?  Good because you won’t get that here!

 Big Summer Movie is coming out soon, heck, it might already have come out, and here is your full review!

The movie opens with a shot of an open field.  This is appropriate as it represents the blank canvas that is about to be filled up.  Enter Big Name Star #1, he is either a new hip celebrity, or perhaps even an aging veteran of the screen, making one last pass at a blockbuster before going out to pasture.  He walks past the camera and lights up a cigarette, then suddenly a shot rings out, or perhaps an explosion, or even a phone call from an ex flame.  In any case it’s time for Big Name Star #1 to RUN!

Run he does, through a construction site, or an empty office building, when he is cornered by the terrorists or the supervillain.  A car pulls up at the last second, a sexy voice simply says, “Get in”, and he does!

Enter Sexy Female Lead #1, she is smart, tough, sexy, and perhaps not even white!  She reveals a secret plan to blow up the city, or rob the bank, or kidnap the president’s goldfish.  Our 2 heroes must leap to action.

So they do!  Guns and kicks a flying, they weave their way through a web of clues and get to thew bottom of this critical ordeal, and get to know each other a little better too if you know what I mean, me-ow!  Following the sexy shower or covered in motor oil or whatever we ccould find in the kitchen sex scene, we move on to uncovering more clues!

Wait!  Plot twist, this secret plan originates from the government!  It’s an inside job, what the heck will our heroes do?

Blow stuff up of course!  In the third reel our nemesis, Old Theatre Actor You Don’t Know #1 shows up, he’s the head of the government group, and the brains of the whole operation.  Following a terrific battle between our heroes and ninjas or generic guys in suits or stormtroopers, we get the final face off.  A long winded speech from Old Theatre Actor You Don’t Know #1 ensues, and it’s revealed why everything has happened.  Does any of it make sense?  No, but what conviction that guy speaks with, I’m sold!  Eventually our evildoer makes some statement like, “You don’t know what you’re up against”, or “You’ll never win”, or “I’m the government, I’m going to walk away from all this mess”.  Well, that was the wrong thing to say, cause now our heroes realise that they will never win through lawful means, and that means one thing, they have to take the law into their own hands!

Movie ends with Old Theatre Actor You Don’t Know #1 tied to the back of a car, or perhaps with a grenade in his pants,  And our 2 heroes walking away in the sunset, smoking another cigarette, laughing about the crazy adventure they just had, and making sexual innuendo.

All in all this was a tense thriller, loaded with fun and action.

B+

-Ray
www.almightyray.com

Dear Democrats; An open letter from Howard Dean

As Leader of the Democratic National Committee I would like to address all democrats. My own candidacy went down in flames when I screamed like a crazy person at my supporters after a disappointing finish in New Hampshire. I’ve learned a lot about politics since then and I have guided my party to an historic victory in last year’s mid-term elections.
That’s why it is so important that we in the Democratic Party start early in framing the debate for the run to the White House. One of the things the Republicans have done very successfully is co-opting the language to change peoples opinions, that’s how the “estates tax” that only effects 1500, multi-billionaires became the “death tax” everyone’s going to die and no one wants to pay taxes as a corpse, pretty smart. Just last month the Republicans recorded a victory in the Supreme Court repealing a woman’s right to choose because they labeled a rare medical procedure “Partial Birth Abortion.” So if we want to maintain a female’s right to choose we need to steer the debate with language of our own. That is why henceforth all Democrats will be referring to fetuses as “Belly maggots” because the larval stage of a fly’s life cycle is analogous to that of a human fetus and who wouldn’t allow their neighbor’s daughter to get belly maggots vacuumed out of her hoo-ha? I’m a doctor I know.
We’ve also learned through experience that “Gay marriage” is a losing cause for us so from now on we support “Hot Girl on Girl Nuptials.” Who doesn’t want to see that? Let’s face it its hairy men and butt-sex that makes Americans queasy so we highlight the stuff everybody likes, love starved lipstick lesbians. And nuptials, that’s just sex on a stick. Trust me I’m a doctor and it still works for me.
So if we can just shift the language enough we can win the debate and the White House. An d that is why I am proposing that henceforth all Democrats should use the following terms:
Illegal Immigrants- Payroll tax enhancements
Global Warming- Environmental Armageddon
War in Iraq- Mesopotamian Clusterfuck.
Think about it, we need your help to change this country’s direction, I’m I doctor I know.

Yours truly,

Dr. Howard Dean

Big News Report May 13, 2007

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pN0rXq48xF0]