Big News Report for Sunday, July 29, 2007

  • Vice President Cheney underwent surgery Saturday to replace the battery in his pacemaker. In lieu of flowers, Democrats ask that Cheney be sent microwave ovens.
  • During a Judiciary Committee hearing on Tuesday, several senators said they do not trust Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. The senators concluded that Gonzales is not trustworthy when they found out he works for the Bush administration.
  • Lindsay Lohan claims that the cocaine found in her pocket during her arrest Tuesday morning did not belong to her. Lohan explained that if the cocaine was hers, it would have been found up her nose.
  • At a photo shoot for “OK!” magazine, Britney Spears used a Chanel dress to mop up dog poop. Even more disgusting, Britney used a Chanel dress to pick up a Kevin Federline CD.
  • After attacking Andy Dick at a comedy club last week, Jon Lovitz has told Dick to “avoid me like the plague.” Also avoiding Lovitz like the plague - people who cast movies and TV shows.
  • (more…)

    The INSIDER Has Advice For Lindsay

    ADVICE FOR LINDSAY

    Advice for Lindsay
    DotComedy’s Celebrity Vlogs with Phillip Wilburn

    Pat O’Brien, Robin Williams and other celebrities speak out about Lindsay’s latest DUI arrest. Starring Phillip Wilburn www.phillipwilburn.com

    Big News Report (Blue Collar ed.) 072907

    caleodisbc1tn.jpgRove’s about to hang, Clinton’s still bangin’, and them classic lawyer jokes never git old! Check out this week’s Big News Report, Blue Collar edition:

    Big News Report (Blue Collar ed.) 072907

    Big News Report for Sunday, July 22, 2007

    • Grizzly LohanVice President Dick Cheney served as acting president briefly on Saturday while President Bush was anesthetized for a routine colonoscopy. Before performing the procedure, however, doctors had to first remove Cheney’s hand from Bush’s ass.
    • A federal appeals court ruled Friday that the government must provide defense lawyers with classified evidence gathered against detainees held at Guantanamo Bay. The government says it will do so as soon as it fabricates some.
    • The Defense Department is offering one million dollars to the first person or team who invents a lighter version of the power pack carried by U.S. soldiers in Iraq. In response, U.S. soldiers are offering one million dollars to the first person or team who invents a way to get them the hell out of Iraq.
    • Iranian police have arrested fourteen squirrels on charges of espionage, alleging that the animals were equipped with eavesdropping devices. Iranian authorities are still on the lookout for the squirrels’ accomplices: fourteen giant moose.
    • A town in Idaho has opened a facility to rehabilitate bears. The first client to check into the facility: Grizzly Lohan.
      (more…)

    Bush Talks About Probe


    See the first video of the President talking about his colonoscopy.

    Check this out Phillip Wilburn’s Celebrity Vlogs.

    Big News Report July 22, 2007

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsDLgH2zUz8]

    Big News Report (Blue Collar ed.) 072207

    caleodisbc1tn.jpgMan, they’s a whole lot of probin’ goin’ on in the news this week! Michael Vick proverbially doin’ it to hounds. Kevin James and Adam Sandler pretendin’ ta do it to each other. Not to mention, the President gettin’ done to him all a-what he’s been doin’ to the country fer 6 years! Check out this week’s Big News Report, Blue Collar edition:

    Big News Report (Blue Collar ed.) 072207

    Big News Report (Blue Collar ed.) 071507

    caleodisbc1tn.jpgDidjaever need a finger sowed back on cuz of an M-80? Didjaever have to pull straw out of the damnedest places? Didjaever buy a comedy album at a gas station? If so, the Blue Collar edition is for y’all. So here it is:

    Big News Report (Blue Collar ed.) 071507

    Big News Report July 15, 2007

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpCA5RJCBT0]

    Big News Report July 8, 2007

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCMvg-Cgyt4]