Posted by juliagaudette on April 30th, 2008
I’ve been hearing a lot over the past few days about this Miley Cyrus photo shoot for Vanity Fair so I finally decided to check the photos out for myself and was seriously under whelmed by what I saw - Oooh, it’s a bare back, quick hide the kiddies before they start flagrantly humping each other!!! Lame. The one thing that did catch my eye though, was the photo of Miley strewn across the lap of her father, former country star Billy Ray Cyrus. Uh, WTF??? I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your father but I have never, EVER laid across his lap like that. It’s just gross, especially in this case. The mullet may have been traded in for a mullite but you don’t fool me, you’ll always be the singer of “Achy Breaky,” the song I had to square dance to in P.E. with Chad “sweaty palms” Ferlong. I’m still wiping his hand grease off to this day. This got me thinking about other inappropriate father/daughter relationships in the media so here now is the first of my ongoing WTF series. I’ll update it as I see things that make me say WTF - Or maybe I won’t - Stop pressuring me, I get enough of that from my mom! No, I haven’t met anyone. So what if I still live by my self with only 2 cats for company? I like it that way! No, I can’t leave, Squeakers would get lonely!!! (Weeps softly while listening to “Alone” by Heart).
Hulk and Brooke Hogan
I don’t care how concerned you are with skin cancer, no father should EVER apply sunscreen to his daughter’s ass. The only excuse for this sort of familial hand to ass contact would be if Brooke had a pack of wild, tusked pigs stuck to her ass and the Hulkster was trying to swat them off to save her life. But even then he should just let the bush pigs maul her to death. It’s just more appropriate.
Ick Factor: 7
Papa Joe and Ashley Simpson
This man is truly creepy. From calling his other daughter Jessica’s boobs a gift from God to leering at Ashley’s here, this man takes inappropriate fatherhood to a whole other level. Fathers should never look at or touch their daughters’ boobs. I don’t care if they’re covered in flashing lights – Keep those eyes up, perv-o.
Ick Factor: 9
Josef and Elizabeth Fritzl
This man imprisoned his daughter for 24 years forcing her to live as his sex slave. They bore 7 children together, 3 of whom never saw the light of day until their discovery earlier this week. Uh, what???? This is why I’ll never date a European man. They’re too sexually liberated. I’m sure things would start our innocently enough. First he encourages you to stop shaving your armpits, next it’s off to the topless beach because you have a beeeautiful body, and before you know it he’s lured you into a sex dungeon full of nude midgets smoking cigarettes and playing sad, accordion music…Wait a second…That doesn’t sound so bad…
Ick Factor: 10,235,907,823,553,259,709,327,509,823,508 x Infinity