Where Hard News Meets Hollywood
Almost a year after MSNBC’s Countdown with Keith Olbermann featured Leave General Petreaus Alone now CNN Headline News’ Showbiz Tonight jumps on the Big News bandwagon by featuring I Picked A Girl with John McCain and Sarah Palin. Check out Brooke Anderson’s report on our video.
Here’s a video of McCain arriving in the Twin Cities today for the RNC. While you can’t actually hear what McCain is saying, I imagine it’s something like this:
0:10 - Hi Honey, you sober? No? Well try not to talk to any reporters then ok?
0:13 - Oh hey Bridget! You know, even though my other kids hate me, remember, you’re adopted, so I still have to love them more than you. But thanks for coming out!
0:22 - Whoa, hey buddy. We almost kissed there didn’t we? Can’t let that happen. All my evangelical votes will go away. Heh, heh.
0:43 - What the F? Who the hell are you? OH Sarah Palin! My new VP! Sorry, I didn’t recognize you seeing as we’ve only met once and all.
0:49 - And this is your husband. Oh what? He likes to drive snowmobiles? That’s great. I’ve made a great choice here. Just great.
1:01 - And you must be Bristol. Pregnant and 17. That is so great. You know what else would have been great though? If you didn’t go trolloping all over town and kept it in your pants.
1:12 - And that would make you Levi, the baby daddy. I want to thank you so much for ruining my campaign. Really. Oh, and just fyi in case you’re thinking of doing anything stupid like cheating or running off on your little lady remember, I cut off a man’s nutsack in ‘Nam with a ball point pen and I have no qualms about doing the same to you. Ok? Ok.
1:42 - Oh hey who’s this little feller? Oh what? It’s the downs baby? Shit Cindy, that’s the kind of thing you should tell a man before he kisses it. Huh? You can’t get the ‘tardation from kissing a baby? Well ok then, but you really should warn a man.
2:00 - (Waving to the crowd while thinking to himself) I am so screwed.
By: Julia Gaudette
www.iamrad.tumblr.com
On Friday John McCain announced that he had chosen Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate. Palin immediately faced controversy when she couldn’t remember how many igloos she owns.
On Thursday night Barack Obama accepted the Democratic presidential nomination before 84,000 supporters in Denver’s football stadium. Obama then opened the NFL preseason by singlehandedly defeating the New York Jets 17-14.
Jimmy Carter said Thursday that John McCain is “milking every possible drop of advantage” from his time as a POW. McCain rejected Carter’s claim, pointing out that he couldn’t milk anything because his hands were crippled from his time as a POW. (more…)
