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It was the week the government officially declared the US to be in a recession - but there’s no shortage of laughs in episode 298 of Big News!

In this episode:

- Rosie O’Donnell bursts into Barack Obama’s national security press conference!
- New Line Cinema announces the sequel to “Four Christmases!”
- Chris Matthews interviews the top candidate for Senate from Pennsylvania in 2010 - Chris Matthews!
- Three congresswomen try to find an auto company worthy of their $25 billion bailout!
- Barbara Walters brings us some super-revealing Nixon tapes!
- Hillary Clinton takes control of an international crisis on January 21, 2009!
- A pirate reveals his not-so-terrifying background!
- A desperate jobseeker interviews at Wal-Mart!
- Two detectives investigate a crime against Jennifer Hudson - but not the one that made the headlines!
- Bill Clinton celebrates Christmas…in song!
- Plus the comedy of Paul Malewitz!
- And Danny Ricker and Adam Fisher tell us about…baby danger!

And you can now subscribe to the Big News Podcast! We offer a few different options: iTunes, Miro, normal feed, and Revver. Go here to subscribe!

BIG NEWS EPISODE 298 - “Recession Proof”

Starring Christopher Biewer, Kipleigh Brown, George Caleodis, Sean Cowhig, Jimmy Guidish, Jason Kelley, Gregg Lopez, Melissa Okey, Artemis Pebdani, Tammie Smalls and Phillip Wilburn

Directed by Michael Hughes (more…)

Caroline Kennedy said Friday that she would have to work twice as hard as others if she is selected to be a U.S. Senator. The extra work will go towards not being murdered.

Nuclear powers India and Pakistan moved closer to war, as tensions rose in the region. The situation began to worsen the more Pakistan got dropped from tech support.

On Tuesday, a massive water main break in Bethesda, Maryland flooded the streets and stranded several motorists. In response, President Bush said FEMA would look into the problem on the 20th of January. (more…)

On the twelfth day after Boxing Day, my true love gave to me…

Twelve hours of uninterrupted online porn viewing,

Eleven self-help books to combat porn addiction,

Ten top ten lists of 2008,

Nine bottles of rum for frozen daiquiris since we both like girly drinks,

Eight days of hangovers, 

A pass to see “Seven Pounds”  (since I have to pay her back for renting “The Love Guru”),

Six hours wasted after seeing “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” twice (since I still have to pay her back for renting “The Love Guru”),

Five soft tacos,

A pass to see “Four Christmases” (since I still have to pay her back for renting “The Love Guru”, please, please, forgive me for that one),

Three weeks of bonus jokes,

Two billion in bailout funds,

and one pass to see a great Big News show, 9pm Sunday night at the IOwest.

International Orgasm Day, a mega-orgy sex-fest in Tel Aviv, Israel was cancelled this week after the owner of the venue hosting the event caved in to threats and public pressure. Flyers and text messages had to be sent out to thousands of registered participants telling them not to come. (more…)

The Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at President Bush began his trial Wednesday on charges of attacking a head of state. When asked to predict the outcome, the judge in the case said a guilty verdict is a virtual shoo-in.

Time magazine has named Barack Obama its “Person of the Year.” Hillary Clinton responded that the year is not yet over so she still has a chance.

Las Vegas was hit by a winter storm this week that broke a thirty-year record for snowfall. As a result, the city will change its slogan to “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas Because All the Roads and Airports are Closed and You’re Stuck Here.” (more…)

Now, through the miracle of virtual reality, the power of the internets, and a complete lack of respect for authority, you can become Time’s Man of the Year*, Muntadhar al-Zeidi, the infamous Iraqi Shoe Thrower, hero to millions and soon to be host of Fox TV’s American Infidol**. Take off your shoes and pledge allegiance to the frag. You have a mission, go forth and fling. Failure is not an option.

*Not really but I bet they wish they could

**Just take anything with an asterisk next to it as a complete lie

The proposed bailout of the American auto industry broke down Thursday night after Senate Republicans blocked its passage. Making matters worse, the bailout broke down right after its warranty had expired.

The bailout plan rejected by the Senate would have had the car industry overseen by a government appointed “car czar.” The position would have been more appealing than the comparable job for the bailout of the financial industry: the bank skank.

In a lunch with GOP Senators on Wednesday, Dick Cheney proclaimed that if aid to the auto industry was rejected it would be Herbert Hoover time. At that same lunch, President Bush proclaimed that it was Peanut Butter Jelly time.

(more…)

Our friend Nick Armstrong - who you can catch in great shows at iO West like The Friday 40, Cog and iO All Stars - guest stars in our pre-Thanksgiving episode!

In this episode:

- George Bush pardons a “turkey” from Alaska for Thanksgiving!
- Congressional leaders take the bailout for a spin!
- Jack in the Box gets some new spokespeople!
- Joe Biden learns some things about dual personalities from Christian Slater!
- The UAW expresses their discontent - in song!
- Antonio Villaraigosa meets his match in a firefighter!
- Vladimir Putin reveals some hidden talents!
- A sleepover turns into a faceoff between Robert Pattinson and Zac Efron!
- Jackson Browne strikes back against John McCain - in song!
- And Kevin Federline gets ready for Thanksgiving!
- Plus the comedy of Rob Delaney!
- And Jeff Goldblum expounds on genetic breakthroughs!

And you can now subscribe to the Big News Podcast! We offer a few different options: iTunes, Miro, normal feed, and Revver. Go here to subscribe!

BIG NEWS EPISODE 297 - “Don’t Forget the Motor City”

Starring Nick Armstrong, Sean Cowhig, Bailee Desrocher, Neil Garguilo, Jimmy Guidish Gregg Lopez, Melissa Okey, Artemis Pebdani, Brian Vestal and Phillip Wilburn

Directed by Michael Hughes (more…)