NEW YORK (BN) – A gaggle of Canadian Geese were saddened last week when Michael J. Goose, just released back in the wild after an extended hospital stay, lost control in midair and flew into a plane’s engine, passing away at the age of four.
Michael was described by his gaggle mates as “a little clumsy” and “prone to accidents.”
This was the fifth time Michael had been released from the Animal Rehabilitation Center of Staten Island, NY.
“That goose always seemed to just find ways to get into trouble,” said Dr. Donald Brant. “I remember one time, a hunter had run out of bullets, but Michael still flew a little to close and got batted out of the air by the irate hunter. It took us four weeks to stitch him up after that stunt.”
Michael also ran into power lines, sliding glass windows, gas trucks, sleeping eagles, barns, tall pines, and once, a perturbed elk.
“Michael was such a bright goose, I think he was always thinking of ways to make our lives better instead of just flying,” said Carrie-Anne Goose. “I remember one time, he had this idea that we should just stay in Texas all year long instead of going back where it is cold. Then he flew into the Goodyear Blimp.”
“The thing I’ll miss about him the most is the expression on his face every time he hit the left upright,” said Gordie Goose.
“Everytime we flew over Hollywood, he would always run into the side of the IOWest, where they have Big News every Sunday night at 9 pm,” said Catherine O’Goose. “Then he’d dust himself off, get back in the air, careen off Lindsay Lohan and get stuck between Paris Hilton’s legs. I don’t know how we ever got him out of there, since it is like a black hole where no light or goose can escape.”
In lieu of flowers or grain, members of the flock are recommending a donation be made to PETA for the creation of the phrase “air kitten.”
A US Airways plane was forced to crash-land in the icy waters of New York’s Hudson River after hitting a flock of geese. Luckily, the passengers had plenty of time to evacuate, because the plane was held afloat by all the mafia corpses that were already in the river. (more…)