California’s First Lady Maria Shriver apologized Wednesday for talking on her cell phone while driving. The incident is officially the 1,872nd worst thing that’s happened to a Kennedy in a car.
President Obama announced that he wants to send checks for 250 dollars to over 57 million American seniors. It’s all part of Obama’s plan to stimulate the ribbon candy industry.
Hillary Clinton stated that whoever wins Afghanistan’s next election needed to build better relationships with the US, the army and the Afghan people. Afghani officials expressed surprise that they were expected to take advice about relationships from Hillary Clinton.
Britney Spears (played by special guest Noureen DeWulf) is celebrating a number one single and getting ready to perform - until her ex K-Fed and his sidekick Pookie show up to ask a little help with $110,000 they owe in back rent…
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“K-FED BAILOUT” by Phil Ranta and Michael Hughes - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 24: “For Whom the Nobel Tolls”
NASA blowing up the moon?!!! Not if these folks - including everyone from a teenage “Twilight”/Robert Pattinson fan to Ralph Kramden from “The Honeymooners” - meeting with NASA’s spokesperson (played by special guest Noureen DeWulf) have anything to say about it!!!!!
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“MOON SHOT” by Jim Harmon - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 24: “For Whom the Nobel Tolls”
After Jenny Slate’s on-air f-bomb generates lots of press for “Saturday Night Live”’s season premiere, Lorne Michaels decides to keep the hype going by inserting gratiutious profanity into sketches with recurring SNL characters from the past!
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“SATURDAY NIGHT F%#*ING LIVE” by Andy Harris - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 24: “For Whom the Nobel Tolls”
After winning the Nobel Peace Prize, Barack Obama turns his attention to the war in Afghanistan as he seeks advice from Bill and Hillary Clinton and…Kim Kardashian (played by special guest Noureen DeWulf)?!!!!
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“AFGHANISTAN ON MY MIND” by Kristina Adelmeyer - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 24: “For Whom the Nobel Tolls”
The Taliban’s plan to make all the women in the newly conquered region wear burqas may become a little more flexible once they get a look at the fair Majida (played by special guest Noureen DeWulf)!
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“BURQAS” by Erich Eilenberger - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 24: “For Whom the Nobel Tolls”
After yanking “Family Guy” and “Simpsons” from Venezuelan TV, Hugo Chavez introduces the network’s all-new lineup - all of which seem to star David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson!
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“HUGO’S NEW FALL LINEUP” by Matt Blitz - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 24: “For Whom the Nobel Tolls”