Top Story Weekly

What do you do if your parents are more obsessed with Edward Cullen and “Twilight” than you are? Check with Dr. Phil McGraw - because if your dad says it’s not gay when it’s a vampire, Dr. Phil will tell it like it is!

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

DR. PHIL GETS REAL ON TWILIGHT by Tillery Johnson - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 30: “New Moon Over My Hammy”

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Dr. Phil McGraw), Bailee DesRocher (Jackie), Melissa Okey (Karen) and Brian Vestal (Doug)

Directed by Tom Repetto

It’s not just bowing - Barack and Michelle Obama just can’t do enough to keep Japan’s Emperor Akihito happy!

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

BARACK O-BOW-MA by Andy Harris - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 30: “New Moon Over My Hammy”

Starring Derek Reid (Barack Obama), Tammie Smalls (Michelle Obama) and Matt Moore (Emperor Akihito)

Directed by Tom Repetto

“Twilight: New Moon” isn’t only setting box office records - it’s also giving vampires hope of finally getting a little action of their own!

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

HOW DRACULA GOT HIS GROOVE BACK by Phil Ranta - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 30: “New Moon Over My Hammy”

Starring Melissa Okey (Stephanie), Bailee DesRocher (Veronica) and Matt Moore (Dracula)

Directed by Tom Repetto

Did you hear - Oprah’s ending her talk show! But fortunately for CBS Television Distribution, the replacements are already lined up!

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

YOU GET A TALK SHOW! by Michael Hughes - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 30: “New Moon Over My Hammy”

Starring Tammie Smalls (Oprah Winfrey), Derek Reid (John Nogawski), Brian Vestal (Chet), Tommy Bechtold (Tom), Melissa Okey (Sarah Palin), Phillip Wilburn (Tom Cruise), Bailee DesRocher (Rachael Ray), Matt Moore (Jon Gosselin), Michael Hughes (Rod Blagojevich) and Tammie Smalls (Wanda Sykes)

Directed by Tom Repetto

Glenn Beck becomes the Cryptkeeper from HBO’s “Tales from the Crypt” as he tells his versions of horror stories that result from the passage of a health care plan with a public option!

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

TALES FROM THE LIBERAL CRYPT by Matt Blitz - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 30: “New Moon Over My Hammy”

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Glenn Beck), Tammie Smalls (Mrs. Garcia), Michael Hughes (Mr. Garcia), Brian Vestal (Dr. Patch Adams), Derek Reid (Dr. Cliff Huxtable) and Tommy Bechtold (Dr. Tucker)

Directed by Tom Repetto

How do you get your teenage daughter to stop dating a loser? If you’re the president of People magazine, bring in the Sexiest Man Alive, Johnny Depp!

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

21 DUMP STREET by Tom Repetto - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 30: “New Moon Over My Hammy”

Starring Michael Hughes (Walter), Tammie Smalls (Denise), Tommy Bechtold (Rock) and Matt Moore (Johnny Depp)

Directed by Tom Repetto

Katie and Rob just want to protest the UCLA tuition increases like any other middle-class college students. Too bad their not-so-middle-class parents show up to spoil the fun!

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

MY FIRST PROTEST by Kristina Adelmeyer - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 30: “New Moon Over My Hammy”

Starring Melissa Okey (Katie), Tommy Bechtold (Rob), Michael Hughes (Mr. Patterson), Bailee DesRocher (Mrs. Patterson) and Derek Reid (Mr. Ellis)

Directed by Tom Repetto

If Zacarias Moussaoui is going to get a fair trial in New York City, the jury pool is going to have to reach a little wider than this group of New York-loving celebrities!!

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

9/11 JURY SELECTION by Andy Harris - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 30: “New Moon Over My Hammy”

Starring Tammie Smalls (Judge), Derek Reid (Defense Attorney), Brian Vestal (Zacarias Moussaoui), Michael Hughes (Woody Allen), Melissa Okey (Sarah Jessica Parker), Phillip Wilburn (Frank Sinatra) and Tommy Bechtold (King Kong)

Directed by Tom Repetto

Rush Limbaugh, Barack Obama, John Kerry, and Rue McClanahan from “The Golden Girls” all stop by this edition of the Top Story! Weekly Report - plus Wyoming Senator Mike Enzi reads a totally original statement about health care reform that wasn’t at all written by a lobbyist! Oh - and for those of you Googling - a chance at the top to see Brian Vestal shirtless!!!

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT by Scott Boxenbaum, Corey Bridwell, Brandon Burkhart, Shawn Carlow, Dave Ciaccio, Graham Douglas, Erich Eilenberger, Andy Harris, Isaiah Hole, Michael Hughes, Tillery Johnson, Michael S. King, Markus Kublin, Matt Manser, Jason McClain, Jared Moskowitz, Michael James Nelson, Andy Nordvall, Rick Paulas, Andrew Payne, Phil Ranta, Tom Repetto, Howie Scheer, Dave Swan, Hayley Terris-Feldman and Steven Waldinger - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 30: “New Moon Over My Hammy”

Starring Michael Hughes (Anchor), Melissa Okey (Anchor), Tammie Smalls (Pepper Jenkins), Tommy Bechtold (Rush Limbaugh), Derek Reid (Barack Obama), Matt Moore (Doctor), Brian Vestal (John Kerry), Bailee DesRocher (Rue McClanahan), and Phillip Wilburn (Wyoming Senator Mike Enzi)

Directed by Tom Repetto

If you’re a woman doing a sketch comedy show about news and pop culture in 2009…you’re going to end up playing Lady Gaga eventually. And we’ve got pictures of two of the Top Story! Weekly cast members putting forth their best “Poker Face”! First, from Episode 23, “Blame It On Rio” - Rachael Drummond!

And next, from Episode 30, “New Moon Over My Hammy” - Bailee DesRocher!

So…would you want to “Just Dance” with Rachael? Or would you rather be caught in a “LoveGame” with Bailee? No matter which one you puh-puh-puh-pick, it won’t be a “Bad Romance!”