The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, January 22, 2012!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, JANUARY 22, 2012

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Matthew Harris (Anchor), Amy Paffrath (Entertainment Anchor), Brian Vestal (Anderson Cooper) and Sean Cowhig (Russell Brand)

Directed by Michael Hughes

Students Try to Prepare Reports During Wikipedia’s SOPA Protest Outage!

PARDON ME by Andrew Payne

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Ms. Brown), Matthew Harris (Miles), Amy Paffrath (Kylie), Brian Vestal (John), Brent Pope (Jamie) and Sean Cowhig (Rob)

Directed by Michael Hughes

The Taliban Enjoys The U.S. Marines’ Practical Jokes!

TALIBAN PRANK by Andrew Payne

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Mahmoud), Sean Cowhig (Jake) and Derek Reid (Ahemd)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending January 22, 2012!

Joe Paterno, the legendary Penn State football coach who resigned in
the wake of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, died today at age 85. Actually, Paterno learned about his own death years ago, but never reported it to the authorities.

Wikipedia temporarily shut down on Wednesday to protest a proposed new law against online piracy. According to Wikipedia, the shut-down lasted “like a kajillion hours Justin Bieber rulez.”

Newt Gingrich’s ex-wife told ABC News that when they were together, Gingrich wanted to have an open marriage. And when he went into a restaurant, Gingrich wanted to have an open buffet.

Mitt Romney classified the $374,000 in speaking fees he earned last year as “not very much.” Romney then donned his monocle and top hat and went for a back-stroke in his money bin.
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The First Interview with Beyonce and Jay-Z’s Daughter, Blue Ivy Carter!

TS!W 720: BLUE IVY CARTER by Matt Blitz

Starring Derek Reid (Blue Ivy Carter) and Phillip Wilburn (Phillip)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

Mitt Romney’s New Ad Talks About What Mitt Won’t Say!

WHAT MITT ROMNEY WILL NOT SAY by Phillip Wilburn

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Mitt Romney)

Directed by Phillip Wilburn

Ron Paul Gets Big Support from Potheads!

HIGHLY ENGAGED by Mark Agee

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Ron Paul), Jen Cain (Rainbow), Deanna Russo (Summer) and Sean Cowhig (Jeremy)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

President Obama Knows Nothing About Targeting Iranian Nuclear Scientists!

IMPLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY by Kristina Adelmeyer

Starring Matthew Harris (Barack Obama), Jen Cain (Agent Johnson), Deanna Russo (Jane Merchant) and Sean Cowhig (Agent Smith)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

God Cheers On Tim Tebow!!

HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN TEBOW by Mark Agee

Starring Phillip Wilburn (God), Jen Cain (Angel #1), Kipleigh Brown (Angel #2), Sean Cowhig (Jesus) and Matthew Harris (TV Announcer)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

Haley Barbour Hands Out More Pardons!!

PARDON ME by Michael Hughes and Kristina Adelmeyer

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Haley Barbour), Jen Cain (Alice), Sean Cowhig (Warren), Kipleigh Brown (Lucinda), Derek Reid (Rapey Raperson) and Matthew Harris (O.J. Simpson)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer