The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, April 28, 2013!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, APRIL 28, 2013

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Josh Rachford (Anchor), Brian Vestal (Jim Parsons), Gregg Lopez (Hipster Jesus), James Warfield (Vanilla Ice) and Leo Margul (Student in Science of Batman Class)

Directed by Michael Hughes

Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending April 28, 2013!

In a recent interview, George W. Bush said he is comfortable with his decision to invade Iraq during his presidency. Bush said he’s especially comfortable thinking about it while snuggled under the covers in his racecar bed.

The Twitter account for the Associated Press was hacked, and tweeted that President Obama was injured in a White House bombing. Although the tweet was fake, it did give Ann Coulter her very first orgasm.

Apple has recalled eight million iPhones due to low quality. They apologized for the poor workmanship, explaining that kids will be kids.
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Congratulations to Amy Paffrath and Drew Seeley on Their Wedding Day!

At the end of our show on Oscar night 2012, our very own Amy Paffrath was surprised with a proposal from her boyfriend Drew Seeley:

Today is Drew and Amy’s wedding day! Congratulations to two of the nicest, warmest and most talented people you’ll every meet. We love having you as part of our family and wish you all happiness always!!

Shakira’s Efforts To Fight Her Ex-Boyfriend’s Lawsuit Are Threatened…By Her Hips!

THE HARD HIPPING TRUTH by Eileen Mary O’Connell

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Shakira), Jimmy Guidish (Shakira’s Hips), James Warfield (Reporter #1) and Jen Cain (Reporter #2)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

Like Dove Did For Women, Axe Body Spray Shows Men Other People See Them Differently From How They See Themselves!

AXE BODY IMAGE FOR MEN by Lauren Scharf

Starring Jimmy Guidish (Brad), Grasie Mercedes (Jill),Gregg Lopez (Sam)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

In 2030, Gun Rights Include Being Able to Marry Each Other!

GUN RIGHTS by Allegra Ringo and Kaitlin Beauchemin

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Gunnina), Jimmy Guidish (Gunther), Gregg Lopez (Priest), Jen Cain (Guest), Grasie Mercedes (Guest), Mitchel Baldwin (Guest), Tammie Smalls (Guest), Phillip Wilburn (Guest) and James Warfield (Guest)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

When Bieber Fans Make Stupid Tweets About Anne Frank, It’s Time to Call in the Twitter Police!

TWITTER POLICE by Eileen Mary O’Connell

Starring Jimmy Guidish (Twitter Police Officer), Grasie Mercedes (Amber), Gregg Lopez (Kyle), Tammie Smalls (Rain) and Jen Cain (Sky)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

An Interview with a Lobbyist for the Background Check Industry!

TS!W 720: BACKGROUND CHECK LOBBYIST by Andrew Payne

Starring James Warfield (Jim Hoover) and Phillip Wilburn (Phillip)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

CNN Needs to Report Breaking News - Regardless of Whether or Not It’s True!

MONKEY CNN, MONKEY DO by Sean Tierney

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Wolf Blitzer), Mitchel Baldwin (Johnny), Jimmy Guidish (Guy on Phone) Grasie Mercedes (Woman #1), Tammie Smalls (Woman #2) and Gregg Lopez (Homeless Man)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

Falling Gold Prices Mean More Work For An Old-Timey Prospector!

BAD PROSPECTS by Sean Tierney

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Dusty), Mitchel Baldwin (Brian) and Jen Cain (Kate)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt