The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, March 30, 2014!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, MARCH 30, 2014

Starring Grasie Mercedes (Anchor), Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Blake Walker (Tyrion Lannister), Colin Contreary (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fan), Evan Boelsen (Elton John), Marco Ragozzino (Zac Efron) and Bennett Jones (Colin Chisholm III)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt and Stacy Rumaker

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending March 30, 2014!

A Federal judge struck down a Michigan law banning gay marriage. Gay couples in the state were thrilled about the ruling, until they remembered that they still live in Michigan.

Donald Rumsfeld said on Fox News that a “trained ape” would do a better job in Afghanistan than President Obama. He then passed along the name of the trained ape who ran the Iraq invasion.

Michelle Obama visited China last week. It was part of her new campaign to make sure Chinese kids get an hour a day of physical fitness that’s not at an assembly line.
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Vladimir Putin Gives the People of Crimea His Own Version of Russian History!

RUSSIAN HISTORY by John McNamee

Starring Markeia McCarthy (Historian), Matt Moore (Vladimir Putin), Kipleigh Brown (Natasha/Sasha), Mitchel Baldwin (Dimitri/Ivan) and John Abbott (King/Bruce)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

A Brony Has Advice for Kids Into “My Little Pony” On How To Deal With Being Bullied!

BULLIED BRONIES by John McNamee and Jessica Guerra

Starring Matt Moore (Sparkleshine Moonbeam), Kipleigh Brown (Courtney Love) and Markeia McCarthy (Nicole)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

The GOP Unleashes Conservative Hipster Scott Greenberg on a Brooklyn Bar!

GOP HIPSTER by Jessica Guerra

Starring Dax Herrera (Scott Greenberg), Kipleigh Brown (Paula), John Abbott (Gary), Ashleigh Hairston (Dasha) and Mitchel Baldwin (Flynn)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

Pope Francis Has Some Notes for Russell Crowe on “Noah”!

NOTES ON “NOAH” by Mike Roe

Starring Dax Herrera (Russell Crowe), Mitchel Baldwin (Darren Aronofsky), and John Abbott (Pope Francis)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

To Find Malaysian Airlines Flight NH370, Boeing Turns to Craigslist!

THE PLANE TRUTH by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

Starring Mitchel Baldwin (Garret), Markeia McCarthy (Nicole), Kipleigh Brown (Courtney Love), Dax Herrera (Static), John Abbott (Rand Paul) and Matt Moore (Maurice)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

Scientists View a Gravitational Wave from the Big Bang!

GRAVITATIONAL WAVE by Toby Muresianu

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Stone), Mitchel Baldwin (Harper), Ashleigh Hairston (Matter), Dax Herrera (Matter) and Matt Moore (Matter)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

An L.A. Native and a New Yorker Both React to an Earthquake!

EARTHQUAKE, PLEASE by Robert Chan

Starring Ashleigh Hairston (Kate), Matt Moore (Mel) and Markeia McCarthy (Leslie)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

Las Vegas Has Its Own Crew of Stripper Cops!

STRIPPER COPS by Dax Herrera

Starring Markeia McCarthy (Chief), Dax Herrera (Sergeant Hammer), Matt Moore (Officer Hard Bode) and John Abbott (Dick Well)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt