The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, September 27, 2015!

Speaker of the House John Boehner shocked Washington Friday by announcing that he was resigning. Boehner plans to spend more time crying with his family.

Prior to announcing his resignation, John Boehner cried while Pope Francis spoke before Congress. Witnesses said it was a little weird that the Pope was using his time at Congress to summarize the first five minute of the movie “Up”.

Donald Trump said he wouldn’t appear on Fox News anymore. Not surprisingly, he now wants to appear on a younger, hotter network.

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, September 20, 2015!

During a speech on Thursday, Donald Trump failed to correct a supporter who claimed Barack Obama was Muslim. Even worse, he failed to correct a supporter who claimed Trump could actually become president.

An old interview with Donald Trump reveals that Trump thinks of himself as “actually very modest.” In fact, Trump said he’s “the very best” at being modest.

Wednesday’s Republican presidential debate was the most-watched program in CNN history. Most viewers didn’t have any interest in the debate; they were just glad CNN finally found that plane.

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending Sunday, September 13, 2015!

The White House announced Thursday that over the next year the U.S. should take in at least 10,000 refugees from Syria. Also on Thursday, Donald Trump announced he is thinking about what kind of fence he can build to keep them out.

Hillary Clinton has finally apologized for setting up her own email server while Secretary of State. She decided to apologize after realizing that her poll numbers are also sorry.

New York Mayor Bill de Blasio apologized Thursday after police mistakenly arrested former pro tennis player James Blake. Charges against Blake were immediately dropped…and then picked up by a sprinting ball boy.

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending September 6, 2015!

Donald Trump has vowed to the Republican Party not to make a third-party run if he is not their presidential nominee. And if you want proof of how seriously Donald Trump takes vows he makes, just ask his two ex-wives.

Mitch McConnell said Friday that Senate Republicans lack the votes for their plan to defund Planned Parenthood. So they’re choosing to abort it.

Scott Walker says that voters have very legitimate concerns about the Canadian border. Especially how it’s protected on the Canadian side by a bunch of hosers.