The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, October 25, 2015!

Wednesday marked the day Marty McFly traveled into 2015 in ″Back to the Future Part II″. So if you’re still upset that there aren’t flying cars or hoverboards, just Google why that is on the computer you keep in your pocket.

Paul Ryan says he’ll run for Speaker of the House only if Republicans agree to his conditions. Republicans will get back to him once they’ve looked up “agree” in the dictionary.

Tickets for the new ″Star Wars″ movie were made available for pre-sale on Monday. So “Star Wars” fans can buy a pair of tickets now, and still have plenty of time to not find a date!

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, October 18, 2015!

The first Democratic presidential debate was held on Tuesday. During the event, the candidates debated whether Hillary should be nominated now or nominated later.

Ben Carson said in an interview that he believes the “end of days” is near. In related news, Carson announced that his new speech writer is Kirk Cameron.

Jeb Bush is starting to stay in cheaper hotels in order to save money. Meanwhile, Bobby Jindal is still staying in his 2005 Buick LeSabre.

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, October 11, 2015!

Republican Congressman Kevin McCarthy has pulled out of the race for Speaker of the House. Keeping with the tradition of conservatives using the pull out method.

Netflix is boosting its price to $9.99 per month. The price boost was prompted by a new conservative group: “A million moms against Netflix and Chill”

Customers are complaining that Burger King’s Halloween black bun Whopper turns their poop green. So for Burger King employees, that’s a trick AND a treat.

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, October 4, 2015!

Donald Trump said on “Meet the Press” that America’s mass shootings are the result of mental illness. Just like Trump’s lead in the race for the Republican nomination.

Jeb Bush commented on the campus shooting in Oregon by saying that, quote, “stuff happens”. And by “stuff”, Trump meant “saying something so stupid it completely eliminates any chance you had of being elected president”.

Donald Trump cancelled a rally scheduled for Friday in Virginia Beach due to Hurricane Joaquin. But Trump claimed he had a plan to stop the hurricane by building a giant wall.