The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, September 28, 2014!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2014

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Matthew Harris (Anchor), Derek Reid (Conan the Comedian), John Druska (Dale Decker), Stacy Rumaker (Stacy), Zach Zucker (Keanu Reeves) and Colin Contreary (Ronald Snyder)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending September 28, 2014!

On Friday Chelsea Clinton had a girl. And on Saturday so did Bill.

Chris Christie has lost 85 pounds since undergoing a weight loss surgery a year and a half ago. Weight loss has been easy since his surgery closed off some lanes in his esophagus.

As part of his court-ordered community service, Kanye West is teaching a class at Los Angeles Trade Technical College. It is the only time you’ll ever hear the words “Kanye West” and “class” in the same sentence.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, September 21, 2014!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2014

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Matthew Harris (Anchor), Grasie Mercedes (Danièle Watts), Troy Holden (Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby), Zach Zucker (Netropolitan User), Jen Cain (”Friends” Fan Kathy from Accounting), Mitchel Baldwin (Jimmy Fallon), Bennie Arthur (Wind Turbine Spokesperson) and Paul Straw (Penn Quaker)

Directed by Sean Cowhig

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending September 21, 2014!

A sixth grade girl told President Obama that she was disappointed that he was visiting her classroom because she thought she was going to see Beyonce. The mistake was understandable, because her teacher said they were getting a visit from the most powerful person in the world.

A new survey lists the towns in each state with the highest percentage of immigrants. The survey was conducted by finding the town in each state with the largest Home Depot parking lot.

Microsoft has acquired Mojang, the company that makes Minecraft. Since it’s part of the Microsoft family, Minecraft will now feature way more crashes.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, September 14, 2014!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2014

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Josh Rachford (Anchor), Stacy Rumaker (Ghost of Joan Rivers), Derek Reid (Apple Spokesperson), Zach Zucker (Bono), Markeia McCarty (Brunch Fan) and Paul Straw (Bro)

Directed by Michael Hughes

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending September 14, 2014!

Kate Middleton is pregnant with her second child. Which will make her the first member of the royal family to ever experience labor twice.

Former Baltimore Raven Ray Lewis has criticized ex-teammate Ray Rice, saying it’s wrong to hit women. But he added that it’s perfectly okay to look the other way while someone else hits a woman.

On Tuesday Apple debuted its new Apple Watch, which among other things can detect a user’s heart rate. Users can watch their heart rate soar as they realize how much they just spent on a wristwatch.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, September 7, 2014!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2014

Starring Brian Vestal (Anchor), Eileen Mary O’Connell (Anchor), Zach Zucker (Nick Carter), Mitchel Baldwin (BP Executive), Ashleigh Hairston (Laid-Off USA Today Reporter), Matt Blitz (Disney Executive) and Troy Holden (Colorado Marijuana Tax Collector)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending September 7, 2014!

Naked photos of Jennifer Lawrence were among the nude celebrity pictures leaked online this week. Which makes this one instance where Jennifer Lawrence did not wish to volunteer her tributes.

On Thursday a federal judge ruled that BP was grossly negligent for causing the 2010 oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. BP responded that the decision was for the birds…or it would be, if any birds were still alive after BP spilled all that oil into the Gulf of Mexico.

The NYPD is requiring that its officers take classes on how to use Twitter. However, the cops plan on only following minorities.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, August 31, 2014!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, AUGUST 31, 2014

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Jen Cain (Anchor), Stacy Rumaker (Sofia Vergara), Brian Vestal (Beverly Hills Resident), Colin Contreary (Dusty Hill), Christopher Biewer (David Chase) and Mitchel Baldwin (Abercrombie & Fitch Employee)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending August 31, 2014!

Mitt Romney said that right now, he’s not running for president in 2016, but that “circumstances can change”. For example, Republicans could decide that in 2016, they want to lose.

Sunday’s earthquake in Napa Valley caused severe damage to several wineries. The county has been declared a disaster area by Kathie Lee and Hoda.

A new report indicates that Malaysian Airlines is losing over two million dollars a day. Investigators speculate that the money crashed somewhere in the Indian Ocean.
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