A Hazelnut Shortage Causes a Nutella Shortage!

NUTELLAPOLCALYPSE by Eileen Mary O’Connell

Starring Stacy Rumaker (Annie), Kipleigh Brown (Madison),
Eileen Mary O’Connell (Debbie), Troy Holden (Brian) and Zach Zucker (Newscaster)

Directed by Sean Cowhig

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, August 24, 2014!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, AUGUST 24, 2014

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Stacy Rumaker (Anchor), Derek Reid (Conan the Comedian), Paul Straw (Harry Reid), Tillery Johnson (Matthew McConaughey), Eileen Mary O’Connell (Jennifer Lawrence), Zach Zucker (Calvin Haris) and Troy Holden (Gainesville Georgia School Bully)

Directed by Sean Cowhig

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending August 24, 2014!

After Germany complained of being spied on by the U.S., it was revealed that Germany spied on John Kerry. The U.S. isn’t mad at Germany, because having to listen to John Kerry is punishment enough.

The government of Iran plans to combat high rates of premarital sex among young people by allowing them to enter into “temporary marriages.” Or as they are known in Hollywood, marriages.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid apologized after video surfaced of him making Asian-themed jokes during a recent speech. Harry added that the worst part about putting my foot in his mouth with Asian jokes was that he was hungry again in an hour.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, August 17, 2014!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, AUGUST 21, 2014

Starring Matthew Harris (Anchor), Brent Pope (Anchor), Mitchel Baldwin (Jimmy Fallon), Zach Zucker (Billionaire Golf Course User), Ashleigh Hairston (Barnes and Noble Employee) and Bennie Arthur (Saucey/MeUndies Underwear Alcohol Delivery Man)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending August 17, 2014!

A new book reveals that Hillary Clinton was a big pot smoker when she was younger. Which means the real hard choice was between Funyuns or Bugles.

A venture capital firm has invested $50 million in Buzzfeed. They decided to invest the money after taking a Buzzfeed quiz titled “What Company Should You Invest $50 Million In?”

This fall, for the first time ever, white students will no longer be the majority in U.S. public schools. Which means next spring, for the first time ever, high school proms will actually feature good dancing.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, August 10, 2014!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, AUGUST 10, 2014

Starring Sean Cowhig (Anchor), Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Paul Straw (Chris Pratt), Lauren Miller (Becky Hammon) and Ryan Pratton (Kevin Richardson)

Directed by Michael Hughes

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending August 10, 2014!

Two Americans infected with the Ebola virus while working in West Africa arrived in the U.S. this week for treatment. U.S residents face little risk from Ebola, however, thanks to the immunity to viruses they’ve built up from exposure to Kesha.

Delta flight crews are getting special training to use if they suspect a passenger has Ebola. It’s the same training they get for when they learn a passenger has ordered one of their meals.

A water ban was issued in Toledo, Ohio, after a dangerous toxin was discovered in the supply. As an added precaution, local churches were advised not to perform any baptisms with holy Toledo water.
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John Boehner Sues Barack Obama in the People’s Court!

AMERICAN PEOPLE’S COURT by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

Starring Jen Cain (Judge Marilyn Milian), Phillip Wilburn (John Boehner), Derek Reid (Barack Obama) and Zach Zucker (Announcer)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, August 3, 2014!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, AUGUST 3, 2014

Starring Jen Cain (Anchor), Eileen Mary O’Connell (Anchor), Brian Vestal (Jim Parsons), Troy Holden (Cheesecake Factory Spokesperson), Ryan Pratton (Steven Bauer), Zach Zucker (Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino) and Brent Pope (Police Officer Who Arrested Spider-Man)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending August 3, 2014!

The House of Representatives voted Wednesday to sue President Obama. They’re suing for copyright infringement, because not being able to get anything done was their idea.

Michelle Obama told a group of Democrats that to win the midterm elections, they should be “hungry”. And to make sure they were hungry, she served them nothing but kale salad.

Buzzfeed has fired an editor for plagiarizing. They discovered he was stealing other people’s work when they read a Buzzfeed listicle titled “Top 8 Signs Your Editor Might Be Plagiarizing.”
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