The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending February 22, 2015!

The Academy Awards were held tonight at the Dolby Theater. This year’s big winner? White people.

On Wednesday President Obama named Joseph Clancy the new Secret Service director. Clancy was chosen after sneaking his resume over the White House fence.

Oregon now has the first ever openly bisexual governor, Kate Brown. Voters say they’re looking forward to a leader with lots experience on both sides of the aisle.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending February 15, 2015!

NBC has suspended Brian Williams for six months. During his suspension, Williams hopes to spend more time lying to his family.

The top judge in Alabama blocked gay marriage in his state because he says it would lead to father-daughter weddings. He was then overruled on the grounds that Alabama already allows father-daughter weddings.

ISIS is punishing residents who violate their bans on smoking with lashes, prison time, and even execution. Not only that, but ISIS will make them finish the whole pack!!!
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The Top Story! Weekly Report For Sunday, February 8, 2015!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2015

Starring Mitchel Baldwin (Anchor), Eileen Mary O’Connell (Anchor), Ryan Pratton (Ashton Kutcher), Ross Crain (Bill Belichick), Cassandra Lee Walker (NPR Listener), Matt Harbert (Jack White), Melissa Paul (Teen) and Paul Straw (Sean Killion’s Guard)

Directed by Michael Hughes

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending February 8, 2015!

Water use in California last month was cut by 22%. So the Golden State celebrated the only way we know how: with a wet t-shirt contest.

This week, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie went on a trip to London, and London Bridge finally fell down.

Following his Super Bowl victory, Bill Belichick raised some eyebrows for kissing his 30-year-old daughter on the mouth. He didn’t mean to kiss her on the mouth, but he thought she was Tom Brady.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for The Week Ending February 1, 2015!

The New England Patriots defeated the Seattle Seahawks 28-24 in Super Bowl LXIX. So kids: cheat!

Mitt Romney announced he will not run for president in 2016. Republicans said the decision was somewhat disappointing, while Democrats said it was absolutely devastating.

While President Obama was traveling abroad on Monday, a recreational drone crashed on the White House lawn. Although Obama was in no danger, the drone came this close to popping Joe Biden’s bouncy castle.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, January 25, 2015!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, JANUARY 25, 2015

Starring Matthew Harris (Anchor), Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Ryan Pratton (Ashton Kutcher), Paul Straw (Stoner Losing Weight), Colin Contreary (Rebecca Black’s Manager), Stacy Rumaker (Zooey Deschanel), Mitchel Baldwin (Donnie Wahlberg) and John Druska (MASH-Loving Dad)

Directed by Michael Hughes

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending January 25, 2015!

While speaking at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, Bill Gates said he believe that an HIV vaccine will be available by 2030. Which means that kids in 2090 can look forward to getting infected by the disease at Disneyland.

On Thursday, SkyMall magazine filed for bankruptcy. They made the decision after consulting with their legal team, a bunch of meercat lawn ornaments.

In a new poll, most New Jersey residents said they don’t think Chris Christie would be a good president. In response, Christie said those pollsters are going to eat their words…and if there are any left over, he wants some too.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, January 18, 2015!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, JANUARY 18, 2015

Starring Matthew Harris (Anchor), Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Derek Reid (Conan the Comedian), Ashleigh Hairston (University of Pikeville Spokesperson), Colin Contreary (Brian Williams), Troy Holden (Harold Diamond) and Cassandra Lee Walker (Arby’s Spokesperson)

Directed by Sean Cowhig

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending January 18, 2015!

Mitt Romney is gearing up to run for president again in 2016 and reportedly wants to make poverty a central theme of his campaign. In fact, Romney has already launched an exploratory committee to find out what poverty is.

Two anti-torture protestors were arrested last weekend for trespassing at the home of former Vice President Dick Cheney. Fortunately for the protestors, they were interrogated by the police instead of Dick Cheney.

At least 26 people have caught measles after visiting Disney theme parks in December. The people are expected to recover in a week, or in a day if they have a Fast Pass.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, January 11, 2015!!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, JANUARY 11, 2015

Starring Jen Cain (Anchor), Stacy Rumaker (Anchor), Brian Vestal (Mark Wahlberg), Leo Margul (Citizen of Florida), James Warfield (Samuel Adams), Lauren Miller (Lisan Goines), Mitchel Baldwin (Fox News Reporter) and Ryan Pratton (Kenneth Brandon)

Directed by Paul Straw