The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, February 7, 2016!

Donald Trump finished in second place in Tuesday’s Iowa caucuses. So now when Trump calls someone a loser, they have something in common.

Ted Cruz’s campaign sent out misleading mailers designed to get supporters to attend the Iowa caucuses. The misleading part was the quotes from people saying what a likable guy Ted Cruz is.

Rand Paul has dropped out of the Republican presidential race. Rand wants to spend more time not being taken seriously by his family.

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, January 31, 2016!

Donald Trump didn’t participate in the GOP debate because he said he would be treated unfairly. “I can’t imagine” said Mexicans, Muslims, Women, and the poor.

A man is following Ted Cruz in Iowa and holding up a sign accusing him of liking Nickelback. Which makes sense, because Nickelback is the only thing fewer people like than Ted Cruz.

New England Patriots fans are questioning whether or not the coaching staff’s tablets were tampered with during the AFC Championship game. The Patriots are infuriated that someone else may have tried to cheat during a playoff game, because that’s THEIR job.

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, January 24, 2016!

Sarah Palin has blamed President Obama for her son Track’s domestic violence. She then went on to blame Joe Biden for Bristol’s pregnancy.

The Buffalo Bills have hired the NFL’s first female full-time assistant coach, Kathryn Smith. The Bills are proud to finally give women an equal opportunity to know what it’s like to never win a Super Bowl.

This past Wednesday New York City declared it was “David Bowie Day.” It was a nice sentiment until they declared Thursday “Pizza Rat Day.”

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, January 17, 2016!

On Monday, The White House joined social media app Snapchat. Republicans are enjoying the app because after just 10 seconds, Obama disappears.

Donald Trump has received an endorsement from a white supremacist group. That group – The Republican Party.

Kim Davis attended Tuesday night’s State of the Union address. She wanted to make sure it didn’t involve the union of two men.

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, January 10, 2016!

A new al-Qaeda recruitment video includes footage of Donald Trump. And among Republican voters, the video is already polling 30 points ahead of Jeb Bush.

Fox News host Andrea Tantaros says she thinks President Obama faked his tears during his speech on gun control. She thinks he faked those tears is because, as a Fox News host, she can’t comprehend what it’s like to have an actual human emotion.

During a campaign appearance Thursday at a middle school in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Ben Carson asked the children to point out the dumbest kid in their class. Carson then hired the kid as his new campaign manager.

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, January 3, 2016!

Bill Cosby was arraigned Wednesday on charges of sexual assault. He would have been arraigned sooner, but for some reason the judge in the case was unconscious.

On Thursday, Ben Carson’s campaign manager and two other top campaign workers all resigned. Even more shocking: up until Thursday Ben Carson actually had people working on his campaign.

Former “Glee” actor Mark Salling was arrested Tuesday on child pornography charges. In his defense, Salling pointed out that those weren’t actually kids in the videos, but actors in their twenties PLAYING kids.

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, December 20, 2015!

NBC News did a fact check of statements made during Tuesday’s Republican debate. NBC rated the statements on a scale from “true” to “Brian Williams”.

Martin Shkreli, the pharmaceutical CEO who raised the price of an AIDS drug by 5,000%, was arrested Thursday on charges of fraud. He could face one year in jail . . . but the judge may bump that up to 5,000 years.

NBA ref Bill Kennedy has come out as gay. He said he first realized he was gay when he was told so by thousands and thousands of angry fans.

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, December 13, 2015!

Donald Trump has scrapped a planned trip to Israel, saying he will instead go after he is elected president of the United States. In other words, Donald Trump is never going to Israel.

Politicians in California are withdrawing their support for the high-speed bullet train that will connect San Francisco to Los Angeles. So it turns out some politicians WILL take a stand against bullets.

80 students from Boston College contracted a norovirus after eating at Chipotle. As a result, Chipotle is changing the name of its burrito bowl to “toilet bowl.”

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, December 6, 2015!

At the Paris climate change summit Monday, President Obama ran over his allotted speaking time and ignored signals to wrap things up. As a result, he was banned from doing the summit’s open mic.

Carly Fiorina denounced criticism of her statements about Planned Parenthood as, quote, ″typical left-wing tactics″. Specifically, the left-wing tactic of, quote, ″using actual facts″.

Jeb Bush told a group of Iowa voters Tuesday that they were “looking at the Republican nominee in 2016″. At the time, he was showing them a picture of Marco Rubio.

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending November 22, 2015!

Donald Trump says he’s lost 15 pounds while running for president. Which is easy to do when you only eat your words.

New York Mayor Bill de Blasio said Wednesday that the city will welcome Syrian refugees. According to the mayor, New York City is happy to welcome Syrian refugees…as long as they can afford $3,000 a month for rent.

Alabama governor Robert Bentley has announced that his state will not accept any refugees from Syria. The governor explained that Alabama has already taken too many refugees from Florida.