CAROLINA COUSINS by Matthew Irving Epstein

Starring Tillery Johnson (Tom), Blake Walker (Stephen) and Jen Cain (Officiant)

Directed by Michael Hughes

TS!W 720: PRINCE CHARLES INTERVIEWS BARACK OBAMA by Kat Lenhart

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Prince Charles) and Derek Reid (Barack Obama)

Directed by Michael Hughes

HUMMER NIGHTS by Michael Hughes

Starring Brent Pope (Okorie Okorocha), Gregg Lopez (Masseur #1), Tillery Johnson (Masseur #2), Phillip Wilburn (John Travolta), Blake Walker (Man #1), Josh Rachford (Man #2) Kipleigh Brown (Woman #1), Deanna Russo (Woman #2), Jen Cain (Crowd) and Tammie Smalls (Crowd)

Directed by Michael Hughes

WALL STREET FASHION POLICE by Lauren Scharf

Starring Josh Rachford (Mark Zuckerberg), Tammie Smalls (Stacy), Jen Cain (Joan Rivers), Deanna Russo (Melissa Rivers) and Kipleigh Brown (Kelly Osbourne)

Directed by Michael Hughes

PARTY AT GEORGE’S by Michael Hughes

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Karen Blutcher), Jen Cain (Beth Topinka), Gregg Lopez (George Clooney), Brent Pope (Danny DeVito), Blake Walker (Keith Olbermann), Phillip Wilburn (Al Gore), Tammie Smalls (Wanda Sykes), Deanna Russo (Kristen Stewart), Josh Rachford (Robert Pattinson) and Tillery Johnson (Justin Bieber)

Directed by Michael Hughes

KITT ‘S JEALOUS by Erich Eilenberger

Starring Phillip Wilburn (David Hasselhoff), Deanna Russo (Sarah Graiman) and Gregg Lopez (KITT)

Directed by Michael Hughes

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY FOR SUNDAY, MAY 13, 2012

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Jen Cain (Anchor), Tammie Smalls (Pepper Jenkins), Blake Walker (Jeff Foxworthy), Deanna Russo (Matthew Fox arresting officer), Gregg Lopez (Bono), Tillery Johnson (Matthew McConaughey), Josh Rachford (Billboard Painter for “The Client List”) and Brent Pope (Meow the Cat’s Veterinarian)

Directed by Michael Hughes

The Washington Post reported Thursday that while attending a private high school in Michigan, Mitt Romney bullied a gay teenager by cutting off his long blond hair. The student was traumatized, but was glad that at least Romney didn’t strap him to the roof of a car.

In response to President Obama’s kids influencing his opinion on gay marriage, Bristol Palin stated that it “is not a good enough reason to change thousands of years of thinking.” She then fell off the edge of the earth.

The CIA stopped an Al Qaeda operative who was planning to board a plane wearing an underwear bomb. This came as a surprise, since the Secret Service is usually responsible for handling foreign panties.

Researchers have discovered a new species of spider in Alabama. So if you eat flies and then wash it down with a Pabst Blue Ribbon . . . you might be a spider redneck. If you have one web that sits on top of another web that doesn’t work anymore . . . you might be a spider redneck. If your Daddy Longlegs is also your Uncle Longlegs . . . you might be a spider redneck. And if you are a heteropoda venatoria, which is in fact a spider with a red neck, you might be a spider redneck.

Rush Limbaugh has launched a new Facebook group for women called Rush Babes for America. A “Rush Babe” is a woman who believes in family, American values, and being objectified.

Several students from Kettle Moraine High School in Wales, Wisconsin escaped injury when a dock collapsed into Lac La Belle during a pre-prom photo shoot. Authorities blamed the collapse on pier pressure.

Matthew Fox was arrested in Oregon for DUI. Police knew he must have been under the influence once he started babbling about a Scottish guy in a hatch, a smoke monster, having an imaginary son, and then blamed the whole thing on some guy named Hurley.

Stevie Wonder’s nephew Alpha Walker was arrested for trying to extort five million dollars from the star. Stevie says he never saw it coming.

Conan O’Brien will appear on David Letterman’s show later this month. It’s the only way Conan could get on network TV at 11:30.

Country legend Loretta Lynn announced that Zooey Deschanel will play her in an upcoming Broadway musical. The musical will take place in a magical world where Loretta Lynn sounds like a frog.

Bono turned 52 on Thursday. Bono got a lot of good presents this year, but says he still haven’t found what he’s looking for.

Kenny Rogers has signed a long-term record deal with Warner Bros. Because when it comes to making new music, Rogers doesn’t know when to walk away or when to run.

Matthew McConaughy’s movie “Killer Joe” will be released in July with an NC-17 rating. McConaughey loves these NC-17 ratings; because as he gets older, the people who can’t see the movie stay the same age. All right, all right, all right!

Will Smith says he’s teaching his son Jaden how to be a star. And Jada Pinkett-Smith is teaching daughter Willow how to marry one.

TBS has officially picked up the ABC sitcom “Cougar Town.” As a result, it will be renamed “Tyler Perry Town.”

Billy Joel turned 63 on Wednesday. Billy will never know who lit the candles on his birthday cake, because all his party guests claimed they didn’t start the fire.

Lifetime has picked up a second season of the Jennifer Love Hewitt series “The Client List.” So billboard painters are psyched for putting up more boobs.

Heroin was found in the tank of two dolphins who died in a Swiss zoo after a rave. Authorities have yet to determine if the drugs were dumped in the tank accidentally or on porpoise.

New research finds that global warming during prehistoric times was likely caused by dinosaur flatulence. Paleontologists came to the conclusion after finding the fossil of a male Brontosaurus dutch-ovening his mate.

Meow, a cat who became famous because of his enormous weight, has died at the age of 2 years, weighing 39 lbs. He was so fat, his death took all nine lives, his litter box had its own zip code and firemen had to rescue trees that got stuck in it.

Scientists say the pile of garbage in the Pacific Ocean has grown 100 times its size in the past 40 years. In fact, it’s now such a giant pile of garbage, Snooki had sex with it.

Hair stylist Vidal Sassoon has passed away at the age of 84. He died after his Vidal organs failed.

And finally, Bob Stewart, the creator of “The Price Is Right,” has died at age 91. So if you said he’d live to age 92, you lose.

FACEBOOKING ON A DEATHBED by Eileen O’Connell

Starring Josh Rachford (Marshall) and Tommy O’Rourke (Stephen)

Directed by Michael Hughes

ZEBRAFISH ON MESCALINE by Taylor Orci

Starring Julia Wackenheim (Zebrafish #1), Jared Nigro (Zebrafish #2) and Tommy O’Rourke (Zebrafish #3)

Directed by Michael Hughes