To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

I HAVE A BOOK TO SELL by Christopher N. Corte and Kyle Norwood - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 67: “Of Mice and Mad Men”

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Glenn Beck), Andy Harris (Abraham Lincoln), Matthew Harris (Martin Luther King Jr.) and Melissa Okey (Sarah Palin)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

ANISTON SAYS WHAT? by Victor DeTroy and Liz Funk - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 67: “Of Mice and Mad Men”

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Regis Philbin), Artemis Pebdani (Kelly Ripa), Andy Harris (Michael Gelman) and Shannon Ayers (Jennifer Aniston)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

PAKISTAN FLOOD PLAN by Alicia Bien - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 67: “Of Mice and Mad Men”

Starring Melissa Okey (Hillary Clinton), Tommy Bechtold (Thad Allen), John Abbott (Michael Brown), Andy Harris (Richard Simmons), Brent Pope (Reporter #1), Matthew Harris (Reporter #2) and Shannon Ayers (Reporter #3)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

STUBBORN ROGER by Steve Wright - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 66: “Lost in a Mosque-erade”

Starring John Druska (Roger Clemens), Phillip Wilburn (Lawyer), Rebecca Stevens (Reporter #1), Brent Pope (Reporter #2) and Tammie Smalls (Reporter #3)

Directed by Michael Hughes

Glenn Beck held a rally on Saturday at the Lincoln Memorial, on the anniversary and site of Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech. Beck claims the timing is a coincidence, since he has no idea who Martin Luther King Jr. is.

In China, the Beijing-Tibet expressway was clogged with traffic that stretched 62 miles and took 9 days to get through. Chinese authorities cleared the road by running over the cars with a tank.

Earlier this week Iran fueled up its first nuclear reactor. In response, the US government fueled up its over-reactor.

OSHA fined SeaWorld $75,000 for safety violations following a deadly attack on a trainer by a killer whale last February. OSHA also ordered SeaWorld to stop coating its trainers in herring juice.

On Monday Barack Obama Elementary School opened in Maryland. Although some claim it actually opened in Kenya.

Over one million GPS devices have been recalled because they could overheat and catch fire. Especially when the GPS says, “Turn right into that pit of fire.”

Fifteen passengers on a JetBlue flight to Sacramento were injured Thursday when the plane made a hard landing and blew out several tires. The most horrifying aspect of the experience for the passengers: the in-flight movie was Sex and the City 2.

Los Angeles has unveiled the most expensive public school in the country, which cost $578 million. The city wanted to provide a first-rate learning environment for students to drop out of.

Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg is upset about the upcoming Facebook movie “The Social Network” because he claims it’s inaccurate. Meanwhile, Tom from MySpace is upset about the MySpace movie because it doesn’t exist.

Jim Henson’s widow has donated the original Kermit the Frog puppet to the Smithsonian in Washington. Kermit will now be the most prominent puppet in Washington since President Bush left office.

On Tuesday, George Michael pleaded guilty to driving under the influence of drugs. Michael admitted that he was under the influence of something he smoked right before driving - something called “pole.”

John Mayer criticized the Huffington Post on Thursday for an article he claims falsely implied that he’s gotten back together with Jennifer Aniston. The Huffington Post blamed the article on their newest reporter, Jennifer Aniston.

Lady Gaga now has the most Twitter followers, totaling 5.7 million. Which means that Twitter has exactly 5.7 million gay people.

Sandra Bullock will appear on “The Today Show” next week to discuss education. In particular, Bullock will talk about the importance of learning that your husband’s secretly into skanky Nazis.

Macaulay Culkin turned thirty on Thursday. While en-route to his party, his friends realized they forgot to bring him.

Billy Ray Cyrus turned 49 on Wednesday. Cyrus reminded guests coming to his home for a celebration to come in the back way; he has a business in the front, so the party’s in the back.

Gene Simmons from KISS turned 61 on Wednesday. Simmons planned on rock and rolling all night, but instead fell asleep at 7:30 while watching a rerun of “Matlock.”

Shelley Long turned 61 on Monday. Long was having a successful birthday party, but then she left half-way through and never partied again.

On Monday night in Las Vegas the title of Miss Universe was won by Jimena Navarrete, the reigning Miss Mexico. Navarrete pledged to work twice as hard as previous Miss Universes, for one-tenth the salary.

Toshiba plans to release a 3-D television later this year that doesn’t require special glasses. Toshiba has named its new invention “sight.”

The famous chestnut tree that cheered Anne Frank as she hid from Nazis was toppled on Monday by a rainstorm. Or by Mel Gibson.

Police in New York have arrested a woman who robbed stores while wearing a cat mask. The woman will receive nine consecutive life sentences.

And finally, George Davis Weiss, the writer of such classic songs as “What a Wonderful World” and “The Lion Sleeps Tonight,” died Monday at age 89. Doctors say natural causes were the reason why Weiss passed away, a-passed away, a-passed away, a-passed away.

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

NEW VIKING IN TOWN by Andrew Payne - from Top Story! Weekly Episode 66: “Lost in a Mosque-erade”

Starring Brian O’Connell (Brett Favre), Sean Cowhig (Brad Childress), John Druska (John Sullivan), Derek Reid (Adrian Peterson) and Rebecca Stevens (Deanna Favre)

Directed by Michael Hughes