Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending November 18, 2012!

President Obama said there is “no evidence” that information threatening our national security was leaked during the General Petraeus sex scandal. Petraeus assured the president that the only leaks came from his penis.

Mitt Romney told top donors that Obama beat him because of “very generous gifts” to women and minorities. Romney added that the only gift he gave during the election was to Obama, every time Romney opened his mouth.

President Obama’s campaign manager Jim Messina said he’s going to take it easy and drink red wine for a while. Meanwhile, Mitt Romney’s campaign manager has spent the last two weeks passed out in a vat of Jack Daniels.
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By Deleting Friends on Facebook Over Politics, You Miss Out on a Lot!

NO FRIEND OF MINE by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

Starring Amy Paffrath (Kate), Jen Cain (Diana), Matthew Harris (Hank) and Artemis Pebdani (Beth)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

On Election Night, Diane Sawyer Gets Hammered On the Air!

SEE-SAW SAWYER by Andrew Payne

Starring Amy Paffrath (Diane Sawyer), Blake Walker (George Stephanopoulos), Grasie Mercedes (Jamie) and Artemis Pebdani (Snooki)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

Fox News Reports Obama’s Victory!

MEANWHILE AT FOX NEWS by David Koll

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Bret Baier), Jen Cain (Megyn Kelly), John Abbott (Karl Rove) and Michael Hughes (PA)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

Mitt Romney Takes His Final Goodbye - Hulk Style!

GOODBYE, I’M MITT ROMNEY by Sean Tierney

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Mitt Romney), Jen Cain (Ann Romney), John Abbott (Tagg Romney) and Blake Walker (Paul Ryan)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

Celebrity Republicans Deal with Mitt Romney’s Loss!!

TOSSED ELECTIONS AND SCRAMBLED THOUGHTS by Michael Hughes

Starring Michael Hughes (Kelsey Grammer), Phillip Wilburn (Donald Trump), Grasie Mercedes (Stacey Dash), Artemis Pebdani (Victoria Jackson) and Blake Walker (Kid Rock)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

An Interview with the Hair Flag Lady!

TS!W 720: HAIR FLAG LADY by Alex Mack

Starring Grasie Mercedes (Hair Flag Lady) and Phillip Wilburn (Phillip)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

Mitt Romney Concedes the Election to President Obama - Carly Rae Jepsen Style!

CALL ME ROMNEY by Kristina Adelmeyer

Starring Matthew Harris (Barack Obama), Phillip Wilburn (Mitt Romney), Grasie Mercedes (Michelle Obama), Jen Cain (Ann Romney), John Abbott (Karl Rove) and Michael Hughes (Nate Silver)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, November 11, 2012!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2012

Starring Michael Hughes (Anchor), Jen Cain (Anchor), Artemis Pebdani (Cosmo Cahuenga), Amy Paffrath (Entertainment Reporter), John Abbott (Bob Dylan), Blake Walker (Nicolas Cage) and Matthew Harris (Priest)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer

Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending November 11, 2012!!

On Tuesday, Mitt Romney lost his bid for the White House. Instead, he’ll go back home to the Really White House.

Fox News spent much of Election Night reporting on voting “irregularities.” “Irregularities” being Fox’s new euphemism for black people.

CIA Director David Petraeus resigned after it was discovered that he had an affair. He resigned not because of the affair, but because he’s the director of the CIA and couldn’t keep it a secret.
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