The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, June 7, 2015!!!

Jeb Bush told Fox News that when it comes to the 2016 presidential race, he wants to be the guy to beat. And if the polls are right, he’ll get his wish.

An undercover operation has revealed that TSA agents failed to detect fake bombs and weapons 95 percent of the time. Though they did have a 100 percent success rate in finding travelers’ genitals.

John Kerry broke his leg last Sunday while bicycling in France. Secretary Kerry would have been hurt much worse if his fall had not been broken by his enormous face.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending May 24, 2015!

After six years in office, President Obama finally got his own Twitter account. Obama said he’d love to follow each and every American, but that’s the NSA’s job.

Brian Williams has pulled out of hosting an awards show for military veterans. According to Brian Williams, he already hosted the event two years ago.

The Los Angeles City Council voted to raise the city’s minimum wage to $15 an hour. So now typical L.A. residents can finally afford all those those dogs they rescued!
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Porn Star Mia Khalifa Has To Hide Out from Extremists In Her Apartment!

WE MUST PROTECT OUR PORN STARS by Paul Straw

Starring Jen Cain (Mia Khalifa), Stacy Rumaker (Agent Laurie), Leo Margul (Agent Steve), James Warfield (Pizza Guy), Mitchel Baldwin (Plumber) and Ryan Pratton (Tim)

Directed by Paul Straw

After the Attacks in Paris, Comic Strips Tone Themselves Down!

UNFUNNY FUNNIES by Lauren Scharf

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Dilbert’s Boss), Jen Cain (Lucy), James Warfield (Beetle Bailey), Leo Margul (Calvin) and Brian Vestal (Bil Keane)

Directed by Paul Straw

Now That He’s a Hall of Famer, Randy Johnson Expects Discounts Everywhere!

FREE AS A BIRD by Kat Lenhart

Starring Ryan Pratton (Randy Johnson), Lauren Miller (Denny’s Waitress), Jen Cain (Vendor), Brent Pope (Baseball Hall of Fame Ticketer), Mitchel Baldwin (Kid), Stacy Rumaker (Mother) and Leo Margul (Feathers Wrangler)

Directed by Paul Straw

The World’s Biggest Benji Madden Fans Grieve His Marriage To Cameron Diaz!

BENJI MADDEN GOT MARRIED by Jessica Guerra

Starring Jen Cain (Nicki), Lauren Miller (Margo), Stacy Rumaker (Lynn), James Warfield (Waiter #1) and Phillip Wilburn (Waiter #2)

Directed by Paul Straw

Kim Jong Un Has a Birthday Party!

BIRTHDAY OF THE GLORIOUS LEADER by Ray Stakenas

Starring Brent Pope (Kim Jong Un), Phillip Wilburn (Advisor), Leo Margul (Fake Seth Rogen), Lauren Miller (Fake Miley Cyrus), Brian Vestal (Fake Barack Obama) and Jen Cain (Tara Reid)

Directed by Paul Straw

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, January 11, 2015!!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, JANUARY 11, 2015

Starring Jen Cain (Anchor), Stacy Rumaker (Anchor), Brian Vestal (Mark Wahlberg), Leo Margul (Citizen of Florida), James Warfield (Samuel Adams), Lauren Miller (Lisan Goines), Mitchel Baldwin (Fox News Reporter) and Ryan Pratton (Kenneth Brandon)

Directed by Paul Straw

Santa Claus Makes Kids Wear Body Cameras!

HAVE YOURSELF A BODY CAMERA CHRISTMAS by Lauren Scharf

Starring Troy Holden (Santa Claus), Mitchel Baldwin (Kevin), Stacy Rumaker (Cindy), Ryan Pratton (Ralphie) and Jen Cain (Elf on the Shelf)

Directed by Michael Hughes

The Rehearsal for “Peter Pan Live!” Is Almost As Bad as the Actual Show!

LOST MAN by Greg Shouse

Starring Jen Cain (Allison Williams), Phillip Wilburn (Christopher Walken) and Sean Cowhig (Craig Zadan)

Directed by Michael Hughes