The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, June 7, 2015!!!

Jeb Bush told Fox News that when it comes to the 2016 presidential race, he wants to be the guy to beat. And if the polls are right, he’ll get his wish.

An undercover operation has revealed that TSA agents failed to detect fake bombs and weapons 95 percent of the time. Though they did have a 100 percent success rate in finding travelers’ genitals.

John Kerry broke his leg last Sunday while bicycling in France. Secretary Kerry would have been hurt much worse if his fall had not been broken by his enormous face.
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The Newest Disney Princess: Princess Measle!

PRINCESS MEASLE by Eileen Mary O’Connell

Starring Matthew Harris (Narrator), Eileen Mary O’Connell (Princess Measle), Mitchel Baldwin (Thermometer), Colin Contreary (Prince), Stacy Rumaker (Evil Queen Jenny McCarthy) and Ryan Pratton (Mirror)

Directed by Michael Hughes

At the State of the Union, President Obama Takes On John Boehner in a Burn Battle!

BURN BATTLE by Brian Rubinow

Starring Matthew Harris (Barack Obama), Phillip Wilburn (John Boehner), Mitchel Baldwin (Joe Biden) and Kipleigh Brown (Ruth Bader Ginsberg)

Directed by Michael Hughes

Fox News Makes an American Couple Think All of Paris is a No-Go Zone for Non-Muslims!

NO GO FROM FOX NEWS by Brian Zimring

Starring Colin Contreary (Rebecca Black’s Manager), Stacy Rumaker (Zooey Deschanel), Matthew Harris (Anchor), Kipleigh Brown (Anchor) and Ryan Pratton (Ashton Kutcher)

Directed by Michael Hughes

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, January 25, 2015!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, JANUARY 25, 2015

Starring Matthew Harris (Anchor), Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Ryan Pratton (Ashton Kutcher), Paul Straw (Stoner Losing Weight), Colin Contreary (Rebecca Black’s Manager), Stacy Rumaker (Zooey Deschanel), Mitchel Baldwin (Donnie Wahlberg) and John Druska (MASH-Loving Dad)

Directed by Michael Hughes

The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, January 18, 2015!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, JANUARY 18, 2015

Starring Matthew Harris (Anchor), Kipleigh Brown (Anchor), Derek Reid (Conan the Comedian), Ashleigh Hairston (University of Pikeville Spokesperson), Colin Contreary (Brian Williams), Troy Holden (Harold Diamond) and Cassandra Lee Walker (Arby’s Spokesperson)

Directed by Sean Cowhig

With Delta’s Five-Tiered Seating Plan, Passengers Have Wildly Different Experiences on the Same Plane!

DELTA SKETLER by Sean Tierney

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Dan) Eileen Mary O’Connell (Mary), Brian Vestal (Announcer), Kipleigh Brown (Flight Attendant), Alex Ball (Section 1 Passenger), Matthew Harris (Section 2 Passenger), Troy Holden (Section 3 Passenger)Joy Regullano (Section 5 Passenger), Bennie Arthur (Section 5 Passenger) and Ryan Pratton (Wing Passenger)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

When You Really Want to Torture a Suspected Terrorist, Have an Old Person Ask Them How to Use a Computer!

ENHANCED E-TERROGATION by Calder Holbrook

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Lynette), Matthew Harris (Ibrahim) and Troy Holden (Sanders)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

Sure, Leonardo DiCaprio Left a Club with 20 Women - But What Happened to the 21st?

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BETTER TO HAVE LEOED AND LOST by Eileen Mary O’Connell

Starring Eileen Mary O’Connell (Rosie), Alex Ball (Bartender), Troy Holden (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Matthew Harris (Host)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

Kim Jong Un Plays Seth Rogen In His Own Version of “The Interview”!!

NORTH KOREAN INTERVIEW by Joy Regullano

Starring Joy Regullano (Kim Jong Un), Ryan Pratton (James Franco), Matthew Harris (Dennis Rodman) and Kipleigh Brown (Announcer)

Directed by Adam Campbell-Schmitt