Benjamin Netanyahu won his fourth term as Israel’s Prime Minister in an extremely close election. Netanyahu is said to have won the race by only a foreskin.
Mitt Romney will fight Evander Holyfield in a charity boxing match in May. To get ready to fight Romney, Holyfield has been playing a lot of “Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots”.
A class action lawsuit was filed in California against Franzia and Trader Joe’s Two Buck Chuck for containing high levels of arsenic. Trader Joe’s customers say that while arsenic poisoning sucks, it’s still less annoying than paying 10 cents for a bag. (more…)
The New England Patriots defeated the Seattle Seahawks 28-24 in Super Bowl LXIX. So kids: cheat!
Mitt Romney announced he will not run for president in 2016. Republicans said the decision was somewhat disappointing, while Democrats said it was absolutely devastating.
While President Obama was traveling abroad on Monday, a recreational drone crashed on the White House lawn. Although Obama was in no danger, the drone came this close to popping Joe Biden’s bouncy castle. (more…)
Mitt Romney is gearing up to run for president again in 2016 and reportedly wants to make poverty a central theme of his campaign. In fact, Romney has already launched an exploratory committee to find out what poverty is.
Two anti-torture protestors were arrested last weekend for trespassing at the home of former Vice President Dick Cheney. Fortunately for the protestors, they were interrogated by the police instead of Dick Cheney.
At least 26 people have caught measles after visiting Disney theme parks in December. The people are expected to recover in a week, or in a day if they have a Fast Pass. (more…)
Mitt Romney’s advisors are reportedly trying to talk him into running for President again. As are Hillary Clinton’s advisors.
George W. Bush says that the chance his brother Jeb will run for president in 2016 is fifty-fifty. Or as Bush phrased it, “halfty - halfty.”
Craig Spencer, the New York doctor released from the hospital Tuesday after recovering from Ebola, had a reputation among the staff as a hipster. Mainly because he kept bragging about how he had Ebola before anyone else did. (more…)
The United States announced they’ve captured the mastermind of the 2012 attack in Benghazi. However, Fox News said the report is false, because they did not arrest Hillary Clinton.
Mitt Romney is being urged to run for President in 2016 by some Republicans. And he’s being urged even harder to run by lots and lots of Democrats.
Florida Governor Rick Scott signed a law allowing limited use of medical marijuana. Florida residents are very upset about the law, because they think that instead the state should have legalized medical crystal meth. (more…)