The Top Story! Weekly Report for Sunday, June 7, 2015!!!

Jeb Bush told Fox News that when it comes to the 2016 presidential race, he wants to be the guy to beat. And if the polls are right, he’ll get his wish.

An undercover operation has revealed that TSA agents failed to detect fake bombs and weapons 95 percent of the time. Though they did have a 100 percent success rate in finding travelers’ genitals.

John Kerry broke his leg last Sunday while bicycling in France. Secretary Kerry would have been hurt much worse if his fall had not been broken by his enormous face.
(more…)

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending May 24, 2015!

After six years in office, President Obama finally got his own Twitter account. Obama said he’d love to follow each and every American, but that’s the NSA’s job.

Brian Williams has pulled out of hosting an awards show for military veterans. According to Brian Williams, he already hosted the event two years ago.

The Los Angeles City Council voted to raise the city’s minimum wage to $15 an hour. So now typical L.A. residents can finally afford all those those dogs they rescued!
(more…)

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending May 17, 2015!

Key ISIS commander, Abu Sayyaf, was killed this Friday by the US Army’s Delta Force Troops. Director Kathryn Bigelow has already cleared a space on her shelf for her next Oscar.

The NFL is suspending Tom Brady four games for his role in “Deflate-Gate”. Unlike domestic violence and murders, the NFL has a zero-tolerance policy on removing air from footballs.

A new poll shows a sharp rise in the number of Americans who no longer have a religion. The results are bad news for churches, but at least now Hozier can find parking.

George Zimmerman was injured Monday in a shooting. The suspect is karma.
(more…)

An Interview With the Only Football The New England Patriots Didn’t Deflate!

TS!W 720: FANNIE THE INFLATED FOOTBALL by Mike Bedard

Starring Eileen Mary O’Connell (Fannie) and Phillip Wilburn (Phillip)

Directed by Michael Hughes

At the State of the Union, President Obama Takes On John Boehner in a Burn Battle!

BURN BATTLE by Brian Rubinow

Starring Matthew Harris (Barack Obama), Phillip Wilburn (John Boehner), Mitchel Baldwin (Joe Biden) and Kipleigh Brown (Ruth Bader Ginsberg)

Directed by Michael Hughes

After the Attacks in Paris, Comic Strips Tone Themselves Down!

UNFUNNY FUNNIES by Lauren Scharf

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Dilbert’s Boss), Jen Cain (Lucy), James Warfield (Beetle Bailey), Leo Margul (Calvin) and Brian Vestal (Bil Keane)

Directed by Paul Straw

The World’s Biggest Benji Madden Fans Grieve His Marriage To Cameron Diaz!

BENJI MADDEN GOT MARRIED by Jessica Guerra

Starring Jen Cain (Nicki), Lauren Miller (Margo), Stacy Rumaker (Lynn), James Warfield (Waiter #1) and Phillip Wilburn (Waiter #2)

Directed by Paul Straw

Kim Jong Un Has a Birthday Party!

BIRTHDAY OF THE GLORIOUS LEADER by Ray Stakenas

Starring Brent Pope (Kim Jong Un), Phillip Wilburn (Advisor), Leo Margul (Fake Seth Rogen), Lauren Miller (Fake Miley Cyrus), Brian Vestal (Fake Barack Obama) and Jen Cain (Tara Reid)

Directed by Paul Straw

A Goose Discusses California’s Lifting of the Ban on Foie Gras!!

TS!W 720: NO MORE FOIE GRAS BAN by Andrew Payne

Starring Brent Pope (Goose) and Phillip Wilburn (Phillip)

Directed by Paul Straw

After Getting Hacked, Sony Turns to Old Fashioned Technology!

OLD SCHOOL SONY by Joy Regullano

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Nancy), Melissa Paul (Erin), Troy Holden (Joe), John Abbott (Editor #1), Mitchell Baldwin (Editor #2), (Cashier), Jamie Gaul (Daughter), Phillip Wilburn (Dad), Justin Uretz (Computer Voice) and Amy Paffrath (Executive)

Directed by Sean Cowhig