The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending March 1, 2015!

The investigation into Friday’s murder of leading Russian opposition leader Boris Nemtsov will be overseen personally by Vladimir Putin. Putin has already narrowed the possible suspects down to two groups: everyone in Ukraine, and shirts.

Alaska has become the third state to legalize marijuana. Which means now everyone in Alaska can be baked.

Rajendra Pachauri, the head of the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, resigned Tuesday after being accused of sexual harassment. The harassment occurred when he asked an employee, “Is it hot in here, or is it just our entire planet?”
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending February 22, 2015!

The Academy Awards were held tonight at the Dolby Theater. This year’s big winner? White people.

On Wednesday President Obama named Joseph Clancy the new Secret Service director. Clancy was chosen after sneaking his resume over the White House fence.

Oregon now has the first ever openly bisexual governor, Kate Brown. Voters say they’re looking forward to a leader with lots experience on both sides of the aisle.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending February 15, 2015!

NBC has suspended Brian Williams for six months. During his suspension, Williams hopes to spend more time lying to his family.

The top judge in Alabama blocked gay marriage in his state because he says it would lead to father-daughter weddings. He was then overruled on the grounds that Alabama already allows father-daughter weddings.

ISIS is punishing residents who violate their bans on smoking with lashes, prison time, and even execution. Not only that, but ISIS will make them finish the whole pack!!!
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The Top Story! Weekly Report For Sunday, February 8, 2015!

THE TOP STORY! WEEKLY REPORT FOR SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2015

Starring Mitchel Baldwin (Anchor), Eileen Mary O’Connell (Anchor), Ryan Pratton (Ashton Kutcher), Ross Crain (Bill Belichick), Cassandra Lee Walker (NPR Listener), Matt Harbert (Jack White), Melissa Paul (Teen) and Paul Straw (Sean Killion’s Guard)

Directed by Michael Hughes

The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending February 8, 2015!

Water use in California last month was cut by 22%. So the Golden State celebrated the only way we know how: with a wet t-shirt contest.

This week, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie went on a trip to London, and London Bridge finally fell down.

Following his Super Bowl victory, Bill Belichick raised some eyebrows for kissing his 30-year-old daughter on the mouth. He didn’t mean to kiss her on the mouth, but he thought she was Tom Brady.
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The Top Story! Weekly Report for The Week Ending February 1, 2015!

The New England Patriots defeated the Seattle Seahawks 28-24 in Super Bowl LXIX. So kids: cheat!

Mitt Romney announced he will not run for president in 2016. Republicans said the decision was somewhat disappointing, while Democrats said it was absolutely devastating.

While President Obama was traveling abroad on Monday, a recreational drone crashed on the White House lawn. Although Obama was in no danger, the drone came this close to popping Joe Biden’s bouncy castle.
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The Newest Disney Princess: Princess Measle!

PRINCESS MEASLE by Eileen Mary O’Connell

Starring Matthew Harris (Narrator), Eileen Mary O’Connell (Princess Measle), Mitchel Baldwin (Thermometer), Colin Contreary (Prince), Stacy Rumaker (Evil Queen Jenny McCarthy) and Ryan Pratton (Mirror)

Directed by Michael Hughes

An Interview With the Only Football The New England Patriots Didn’t Deflate!

TS!W 720: FANNIE THE INFLATED FOOTBALL by Mike Bedard

Starring Eileen Mary O’Connell (Fannie) and Phillip Wilburn (Phillip)

Directed by Michael Hughes

At the State of the Union, President Obama Takes On John Boehner in a Burn Battle!

BURN BATTLE by Brian Rubinow

Starring Matthew Harris (Barack Obama), Phillip Wilburn (John Boehner), Mitchel Baldwin (Joe Biden) and Kipleigh Brown (Ruth Bader Ginsberg)

Directed by Michael Hughes

Triple H Keeps Having to Comfort a Young Fan!

TRIPLE H KEEPS CONSOLING HIS FANS by Brian Rubinow

Starring Paul Straw (Triple H) and Mitchel Baldwin (Fan)

Directed by Michael Hughes