The Top Story! Weekly Report for the Week Ending September 21, 2014!

A sixth grade girl told President Obama that she was disappointed that he was visiting her classroom because she thought she was going to see Beyonce. The mistake was understandable, because her teacher said they were getting a visit from the most powerful person in the world.

A new survey lists the towns in each state with the highest percentage of immigrants. The survey was conducted by finding the town in each state with the largest Home Depot parking lot.

Microsoft has acquired Mojang, the company that makes Minecraft. Since it’s part of the Microsoft family, Minecraft will now feature way more crashes.
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“Drunk History”’s Bennie Arthur Has an Answer Song to “All About That Bass” - For Guys!

“ALL ABOUT THAT BASS” FOR GUYS by Matt Manser

Starring Bennie Arthur (Bennie), Josh Rachford (Josh) and Kipleigh Brown (Kipleigh)

Directed by Michael Hughes

When Apple Develops the New iPhone in Boston, Siri Cops a Distinctly Boston Attitude!

APPLE BOSTON WORKS ON SIRI by Joe Hospodor

Starring Zach Zucker (Zach), Bennie Arthur (Dan) and Sean Cowhig (Siri)

Directed by Michael Hughes

A Guy Likes The Idea of Male Birth Control - Until He Learns It’s Injectable!

VASAGEL MALE BIRTH CONTROL by Brian Rubinow

Starring Paul Straw (Announcer), Zach Zucker (Bill) and Markeia McCarty (Christina)

Directed by Michael Hughes

Katy Perry and Taylor Swift Learn What Really Makes a Feud from an Expert: Tupac!

TRUE FEUD by Mike Bedard

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Taylor Swift), Stacy Rumaker (Katy Perry), Derek Reid (Tupac Shakur) and Josh Rachford (Aaron Burr)

Directed by Michael Hughes

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka Lose Their Honeymoon Suite - to 90-Year-Old Lesbian Newlyweds!

HONEYMOON CRUISE by Laura Clark

Starring Zach Zucker (Neil Patrick Harris), Josh Rachford (David Burtka), Paul Straw (Jamie), Stacy Rumaker (Vivian Boyack), Markeia McCarty (Alice “Nonie” Dubes) and Derek Reid (Announcer)

Directed by Michael Hughes

President Obama Offers Terrorists the “ISIS Bucket Challenge!”

THE ISIS BUCKET CHALLENGE by Linda Landeros

Starring Derek Reid (Barack Obama)

Directed by Michael Hughes

The Internet Slowdown In Support of Net Neutrality Means A Lot of Guys Can’t Get Their Porn!

TIME WARNER HANDLES NET NEUTRALITY by Joe Hospodor

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Mary), Markeia McCarty (Kate), Zach Zucker (Mark), Paul Straw (Chris), Bennie Arthur (Eric) and Stacy Rumaker (Grandma)

Directed by Michael Hughes

A Man Uses the Olive Garden Never Ending Pasta Pass to Find His Own “Cheers”!

THE LONELY GARDEN by Matt Payton

Starring Bennie Arthur (Joe), Stacy Rumaker (Martha), Josh Rachford (Chuck), Markeia McCarty (Kristen) and Derek Reid (Pasta Robot)

Directed by Michael Hughes

For Once, Roger Goodell Can’t Control Reporters Covering the NFL!

ROGER GOODELL DRINKS HOT WATER FOR BREAKFAST by Paul Straw

Starring Paul Straw (Roger Goodell), Josh Rachford (Josh Peters), Kipleigh Brown (Suzy Kolber) and Bennie Arthur (Peter King)

Directed by Michael Hughes